


Inseparable

by raelee514



Series: Inevitable Verse [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Gordon is dead but will be mentioned, Inevitable verse, M/M, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-09-30 09:43:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raelee514/pseuds/raelee514
Summary: Robert and Aaron have admitted they've fallen in love.This is what is next.





	1. Chapter 1

"Stop it," Aaron mumbled as he felt his face heat up at the focus felt from Robert's gaze. But it didn't stop him from tightened his legs around Robert's hips and leaned up to kiss him. Robert laughed into the kiss and refused to break their stare. Aaron knew he wouldn't either, he couldn't — and it made it feel like Robert was filling him up from the inside and out. All around him and it was always this — it'd always been this, but now it was better. Now it was honest because there was no lying in his head that he could look away anytime he wanted. He didn't want to look away, he could admit it now. He could get lost in green-blue depths and seek out his favorite flecks of pure green — because he'd chosen them ages ago. He could admit now — maybe he'd keep it to himself a bit longer, or forever, but he grinned and groaned simultaneous as Robert thrust into him, his cock perfect and hard against his prostate. It was always just right. 

"Never…" Robert breathed out, though Aaron had forgotten his demand. Robert shoved him harder into the mattress, angled his hips, and pressed their foreheads together. They were breathing each other's gasps, and it was a silent echo to the slap of them grinding together. Aaron's eyes closed against his will as Robert made him stars, once, twice and again. He gripped onto one shoulder, and his other hand was in Robert's hair. 

"Rob…" he sighed. 

"Yeah, yeah…Aaron…" Robert's mouth pressed against his, tongue and teeth grazing his lower lip, breathed right into him, and Aaron just felt more full and more pleasure. "Aaron…" his voice was low, and his eyes seemed impossibly close, but Aaron forced his eyes to stay open to fall into them. 

"Don't look away," Aaron whispered. 

"Couldn't if I tried," Robert laughed and pressed another wet kiss to Aaron's mouth. 

Aaron fell apart. 

Robert followed and collapsed on top of him, their foreheads pressed together, and eyes still opened wide. Aaron felt hands on his face and another softer kiss, followed by another and thumbs digging into his cheekbones. He pulled Robert down on him more fully, wanting to feel the weight of him — it made him feel safe and never knew it could before. 

"I'm gonna crush ya," Robert whispered as he followed Aaron's silent order.

"Don't care."

"I might," Robert kissed him again. 

Aaron chased his mouth as he lifted away.

"Hmmm…" Robert hummed into his mouth. 

They shifted as they kissed until they were face to face, dead center in the small bed in Victoria Sugden's box room. Faces smashed together, tongues lazily sliding and hands-on faces, arms and backs, in hair and grabbing handsful of arse, both knowing it wasn't going anywhere again…soon anyway.

Because they were allowed to be lazy and slow with it now, they were allowed to enjoy the aftermath and dawdle and touch and smile. Robert's face looked brilliant to Aaron, and it caught in his throat when he remembered he was why… it still wasn't quite making sense to him, that he was being given this. What he wanted, what maybe he'd wanted since the first time they fell into bed together — their sexual attraction all heat and sparks. 

Maybe it was a clue. 

There was a knock on the door, and Aaron groaned and hid his face against Robert's shoulder. "No…" he muttered.

"Rob!" Vic yelled. 

"Sorry," Robert muttered into his ear. "What Vic?"

"Come on, it's cookie time…" she yelled. 

"Yeah, yeah, alright…" he called out. 

Aaron lifted his head back up to look at him and smiled. "Cookie time?"

"It's a tradition. Vic and I made an uncountable amount of cookies every Christmas Eve," Robert explained pink brightening his cheeks. "It's from when we were kids." 

"That's nice," Aaron said and ran a thumb down a trail of freckles, eyes following them and feeling dazed he could.

"I want to stay here," Robert whined. 

"Me too."

Robert sighed and flopped onto his back. "What are your plans?"

"Don't really have any, besides see Mum… and Adam. Dingles do their traditions tomorrow. Which is basically just presents and getting drunk."

Robert laughed. 

"Welcome to join."

"I will, at some point. Vic's making a big dinner, for us, she's doing the whole thing with Ellis — I think she's expecting a ring soon."

"This week?"

"Between now and Valentines, I guess…" Robert grinned at him. "You could come? I mean maybe for dessert at least?"

"After food at Zak and Lisa's?" Aaron nodded. 

"Stay today and help with the cookie?" Robert asked.

Aaron made a face. 

"Come on… just for a bit?"

Aaron found himself nodding. 

"Rob!" Vic yelled again. 

"Vic, when I get down there I get down there," Robert yelled. 

"There is plenty of things Aaron can do to help," Vic yelled. 

"No, ta!" Aaron yelled. 

"Least you owe me, walls are thin…" Vic's voice was pure cheek. 

Aaron turned pink and buried his face into Robert's shoulder again.

Robert laughed and ran a hand up and down his back. 

"Guess we have to get up?"

"I rather go for round three," Robert grinned. 

"Three?"

"Last night getting back, just now and maybe soon presently…." Robert's grin was smug.

"Your sister is going to come in here and attack you with a cookie tin."

Robert laughed and sighed. "It is tradition, she and me and all…" 

"Soft."

"Maybe …don't tell her, though."

Aaron ran his hands through Robert's hair and kissed his nose. 

Robert stilled and tightened his hold on Aaron. Their eyes met, and Robert's flickered, and he gave Aaron a hurried kiss. "This is, we're… us?"

Aaron nodded emotions choking him. 

"Yeah…" Robert smiled. "We wasted time."

"We made good use of it too," Aaron winked. 

Robert nodded. "But still…Aaron..." 

Aaron's insides swooped at the tone of his name. 

"I do, you know...love ya."

Aaron blinked, and a tear fell. 

Robert caught it with his thumb. "Who's soft now?"

"Shut up."

"Never."

Aaron smiled but frowned a second later as he heard his cellphone, he started to move away from Robert. But was held tight and soundly kissed before he was allowed any freedom to move. He dove half off the bed and found his cellphone on the floor before flopping back on it on his back as he checked it. 

"It's Adam....and mum's left a message too."

Robert spread his palm of Aaron's stomach and slowly raised it up to his chest, where it rested on his heart. "What do they want?"

"To see me probably."

"Tell them your mine."

Aaron smiled. 

"You have cookies."

Robert sighed but nodded. 

"I better tell Adam though..." Aaron chewed on his lip.

"Tell him what?"

"We aren't lying anymore... Don't want him running his mouth to anyone."

Robert made a face. "What you think he'd ruin our ruse."

"He might, he's a muppet with a big mouth."

Robert sighed. "Yeah, alright then guess it's best he knows."

"ROB COME ON," Vic yelled. 

Robert groaned. "FINE FINE COMING."

Aaron sighed as he watched him get out of the bed. Beautifully naked and he trailed his eyes all over him and bit his lip. 

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Never," Aaron laughed. 

Robert pulled on boxers, started to get stuff out of his luggage but kept glancing back at Aaron. "We both need a shower, huh?"

Aaron nodded, found his boxers, and got his hand taken tightly in Robert's grip, and they walked down the hall to the shower. It all felt familiar, they'd done it so many times, woken up and put off parting by taking a shower -- only this time it was honest, this time they knew what they were doing and why. Aaron smiled and pushed Robert under the spray and grinned. 

Robert raised an eyebrow.

"I love ya," Aaron said because he could. 

~~~

Robert shut the door behind Aaron but found himself peering through the cloudly glass to watch him walk away. He whimpered and tried to stifle it, feeling exposed a bit because Vic and Ellis were chattering away in his sister's tiny kitchen. He tried to steady himself and push away the impulse to go follow Aaron. They could be apart -- it wasn't a big deal. It just felt like a big deal, and he wished they'd figure things out sooner. Because he wanted to just be with Aaron, but it was a holiday, and he was meant to be with his family. And he did love his sister, he even loved Andy -- though it was hard to admit. But they weren't Aaron. 

He groaned and felt confused by his denial of how important Aaron became... It was quick, too, Robert realized looking back. He wanted no one else, it wasn't even a consideration. He found someone that fit him, they just fit -- and it was amazing. He figured it out and he wanted to spend time celebrating that. He sighed though and reminded himself that Aaron promised to be back as soon as he could manage. Hopefully, the Dingles or Adam wouldn't keep him too locked away. 

There were only so many cookies they could make in Vic's kitchen anyway -- it wasn't like last year when she'd come up on Christmas eve, and they'd filled his apartment with far too many bakers dozens. He stepped away from the door and turned, and there she was grinning at him. 

"Hiya," she said. 

"Vic," he said. 

"So..." She pinned him with a look.

"What?"

"You two always that insatiable?" 

He blushed, but he didn't really feel embarrassed. "None of your business."

"Tell that to the walls," she muttered. "I know things about you I never wanted to know....I'm scarred for life."

"I'm not going to apologize," Robert said.

Vic rolled her eyes. "I know you don't know how to. Come on we need to get going on the cookies."

"Alright, alright..." He walked into the kitchen and saw Ellis sitting at the table in the corner. "Ellis."

Ellis shook his head. "Maybe remember you're our guest..." He muttered, looking into his coffee.

"Whatever, I promise nothing..." They finally found their way out of their arses, there was no way he could promise to keep it down. There was no keeping his hands off of Aaron, he'd tried before, and failed -- Robert felt thankful for that. He felt his head spin and heard Aaron's voice, breathing low and husky in his ear telling him he loved him, over and over again in the shower. It made all of him heat up, and he cleared his throat. "Ellis staying to help?"

Vic made a face. "No. This is you and me time."

"I'm going to April ice skating, it's our brother-sister thing, we decided last year." 

"That's nice," he said. 

Vic smiled and kissed Ellis goodbye. "Have fun."

"You two, don't eat more than you cook."

"Tell him that," Vic laughed. "He's got a sweet tooth."

"No, I don't," he lied. 

"Yes, you do... Aaron know about it?"

"I have no idea," Robert muttered. 

Vic studied him.

"What?"

"I just... You look so happy, Rob."

He felt too seen and crossed his arms. 

"Don't get defensive. I just you've been with Aaron ages now, why is now I'm hearing about this?"

"It just happened Vic, not like we planned it..." He muttered. 

"I mean, I see it...the two of you like glow. It's kind of disgusting."

Robert rolled his eyes. 

"Just, never would have thought it on paper, you know. I mean you told me you were bi -- and I started to think who I could set you up with. Aaron never sprang to mind."

"Good, he hates setups," Robert muttered. "And I didn't need to find someone."

"Obviously,' Vic grinned. "I want the details, Robert."

"Shouldn't we start working on the spritz dough?"

"We can do both."

Robert sighed and nodded. He wanted to keep Aaron to himself longer. He wanted to be back up in bed with him. He wasn't ready to share anything about him and Aaron with anyone, but Vic was about to be relentless. He was just going to have to try to keep his answer short, succinct, and the right amount of vague, she didn't get anything too private but felt satisfied enough. It was a good thing he was great with a half-truth. 

~~~

"Say something will ya," Aaron spat out at Adam.

Adam just stared at him for another full minute, then he stood up from his mother's kitchen table and walked the length of the kitchen. He turned and pointed at Aaron. "Mate..." He shook his head. 

"What?"

"MONTHS," Adam shouted. "I HAVE BEEN ON YOU MONTHS ABOUT THIS."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "You were on me to drop him."

"Because you were into him and I thought he wasn't into you -- still unsure on that."

Aaron groaned. "He's into me."

"Oh, he says so... He was also saying keep it casual."

"And so was I!" Aaron shouted. 

Adam sighed. "I told you...I TOLD YOU it was more than sex."

Aaron shrugged. 

"So just out of nowhere, he's all I love ya?"

"Yeah..." Aaron shrugged. "I mean I was too."

"So, you two decided to do this at the same time?"

"Uh, yeah..." Aaron started to smile. 

"Oh, God...no, no, I don' want to see that face."

"What face?"

"A smiling Aaron face... that's creepy, man, that's scary."

Aaron scowled at him and rolled his eyes. 

"Much better, mate...." Adam sighed. "So, really? You're gonna date him? Robert Sugden?"

"Thought you saw it coming?"

"I saw you getting hurt coming..." Adam shook his head.

"Ads... I love him and he... We're real."

Adam frowned but nodded. "I still think he's bad news, all I'm saying...but."

Aaron waited.

"I mean it was obvious it was never casual, Aaron."

Aaron shrugged.

"Seriously, mate... You owe me a shitload of pints for putting up with your -- it's just sex denials for MONTHS."

"Fine, fine. I owe ya."

"For ducking out on your nights out, our friends..."

"I hear ya."

"Let's start right now..." Adam grabbed his coat from the wall. "Sure your mum wants to see ya anyway... And you can tell her about your great love story with Robert Flipping Sugden."

Aaron groaned. 

Adam laughed and slapped his back as he walked ahead of him out the door. 

Aaron shook his head, but he couldn't stop smiling. Robert was in his mind, his heart, and he pulled out his phone to send him a quick text and let him know he'd be at the pub. His mum was going to be a problem, though -- he'd thought he'd just be upsetting her for a week, or so, just to get her off his back about finding a good lad and settling down. He wasn't sure he was settling down, but he was sure he'd found a good lad. It was just going to making her see it, and he glanced at Adam as they slid into Aaron's car. She wasn't the only one he'd need to prove that to... 

Not that he cared what they thought, not when he had Robert.


	2. Chapter 2

Robert groaned as he sat down on his sister’s couch. He slumped back and lifted his hips, spreading out his legs a bit and looked up to see Vic handing him a glass of wine. He took it and hoped it went well with the smell of cookies. The entire house was infused with sugar and the spices they used in a few of the recipes. That last batch was in the oven, and he glanced at the time and wondered how so many hours could fly by some fast. He took a sip of the wine and glanced at Vic. 

“So, tell me.” 

“Tell you what?”

“Aaron? How did ya know?”

“Know?”

“You loved him?”

“Vic.” He shook his head and looked into the wine glass, but only for a second because his eyes glanced at the door. He’d hoped Aaron be back by now, but Adam or his family seemed to be keeping him.

“See, ya miss him,” Vic laughed.

“Shut up,” he mumbled. 

“Tell me, will ya.”

“Why do you care?” Robert asked.

“Just never seen you like this before… you’re all softer around the edges.”

He made a face. 

“You know how I knew it was Ellis?”

“You went a bit mad?”

She rolled her eyes. “I know you like him, you’re not overtly rude.”

“But I’m not nice.”

“You’re never totally nice, Rob…” she laughed. “Anyway, I knew I loved Ellis when I found myself thinking him drooling on my pillows was cute….” She made a face. “It’s gross, you know, but I catch myself thinking it every time.” 

“My life is much more complete now, knowing this Vic.”

“Come on, have to have a moment like that with Aaron.”

“Vic…” he tensed up. “I don’t talk about this stuff.”

“But you’re all soppy and in love with him.”

“I’m not soppy.”

“You’ve talked about him all day.”

“You keep asking questions.”

“It’s not just that…stop looking at the door, won’t make him walk in faster.”

“I’m hoping for rescue,” Robert muttered. 

“Well, I know you two met on that crappy elevator in your building and you what just hit it off? Cause I find that hard to see…”

“Thought you thought we were well matched?” 

“I do, seeing ya together but…”

“Vic…why are so nosy?”

“This is new.”

“Why cause it’s a guy?” he sat up straighter.

“No, cause your not barb wire, you’ve been laughing and singing to the radio, and you keep bringing him up and checking your phone — and if you glance at that door one more time, Rob.”

“I’m not that bad.”

“Yes, yes, you are…were?” 

He felt tense, so he swallowed more of his wine and leaned back and stared at his sister ceiling. It was easy to make his wander to Aaron. Aaron was where his mind lived these days, and it made him wonder how he’d managed to hide from himself. He was falling in love. He didn’t have a moment though, or maybe he did, but it was catching him off guard, and it felt private. Very private and he felt possessive. He didn’t want to give his sister his love story. 

“Give me a clue.”

“Blue,” Robert whispered. 

“What?”

“Blue,” he repeated and looked at Vic. 

“I don’t get it?”

Robert shook his head and looked at his wine. It’d gone to his head, obviously, though the only thing in his system was little stolen pieces of cookie dough and he was dazed still by him and Aaron. Aaron loving him back, it felt a bit unreal, and even though he kept reassuring Aaron, it’d all been real. He was reeling too from it all. It felt too good, and Vic’s questions were just reminding him that every time he fell into Aaron’s eyes, it was a jolt, like the first time and didn’t that mean…

“Never knew you could be so cryptic.”

“It just happened, Vic, alright… I looked at him, and it happened.”

“What?” her eyes widened. 

He licked his lips and nodded. “The second I saw him, Vic — didn’t know-know it but I knew something. It was in his eyes.”

“OH. Blue.”

Robert rolled his eyes, and he felt exposed and hot, the heat they’d built up in the house felt suddenly stifling and inhaled and tasted sugar. He took another gulp of his wine, then set it down. Cleared his throat and glanced at Vic, without really looking at her. “I gotta get some air,” he muttered, and in a blink, he was pulling on his leather jacket and stepping out the front door. 

Into a snowstorm. 

Snow felt different in Emmerdale. Somehow the annoyance he felt about it in his daily life just lifted. It felt like it belonged here, in the village — a simple small town, especially at Christmas. He inhaled again and taste fresh, crisp air and felt instantly a bit more settled. He walked a few steps out from Keepers and glanced around the village. A few people were walking here and there, but he mostly had the street to himself. He was alone enough that maybe he could deal with the truth buzzing through him. 

_Love at first sight._

~~~

Aaron watched Adam leave the pub and let himself feel the relief he was finally gone. He felt impatient, he’d been gone far longer than he’d meant to be — and he grabbed his phone to send Robert a text and apologize for not showing up to help with the baking. He laughed at himself that he felt guilty for not helping with baking, though maybe it was for the best. It seemed like it was a special tradition between Robert and Vic — he would have felt like an intruder. He opened his phone, but a shadow distracted him, and he looked in time to see Paddy slip into Adam’s vacated seat. 

“Hiya,” Paddy said and plopped two pints down hard enough they nearly spilled. 

Aaron frowned, not because he wasn’t happy to see Paddy. He always was, he loved Paddy — and he believed Paddy loved him. That was always hard for him, and Robert floated to mind, and he felt overwhelmed. By his feelings but also how easy it felt, how right it felt to love Robert. To want him. It never felt too out of reach, and he was insecure, he wondered why Robert would want him — but he believed in it too -- more easily than he ever believed anyone cared about him. He’d made his mum earn it, Paddy went through hell with him, but proved to Aaron he’d stay. Even he and Adam were at odds before they finally fell into their easy banter. 

But Robert. 

“So…your mother….”

Aaron sighed because there it was, his mum had sent Paddy over. She’d been keeping her distance all afternoon. But he’d felt her staring at him, disappointment dripping from her, along with a bit of anger. He knew she was probably upset for him for ditching that guy — what was his name? It didn’t matter. He knew she was angry he was with Robert — and he wasn’t at all sure what to do about it. Except he knew her reasons for hating Robert were entirely unfair — the truth was she didn’t know him.

“Robert Sugden,” Paddy said on cue. 

Aaron smiled, it was impossible not too when he heard Robert’s name — he should have clued in sooner. This always happened, he realized that now, he heard Robert’s name and the sense memory of strong arms wrapped around him and freckled nose shoved themselves into his veins. He smiled and nodded at Paddy, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the feeling — they were together, they were boyfriends, and it wasn’t a lie. 

“Huh,” Paddy muttered, making Aaron remember he was there. 

“What about him?” Aaron asked with a shrug. 

“Really?” Paddy asked. 

He nodded. 

“He’s gay?” Paddy asked his face making it clear he wouldn’t believe it if Aaron said yes. 

“No,” Aaron offered. 

“Then, I’m confused.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “It’s called bisexual, Paddy.”

“Oh, oh…well, yes, I have heard…” Paddy sighed. “He’s treated people horrible Aaron.”

“So have I,” Aaron said.

“Well, maybe, but that was different…”

“How so?”

“You were a kid?”

“And Robert wasn’t?”

“Well, that’s neither here or there… he set out to hurt people.”

“Yeah, I know, he said he was awful.”

“Did he?”

Aaron nodded. It didn’t matter they never talk about in-depth, he knew who Robert was — he could see him. He wasn’t perfect and seemed truly guilty about his past when it’d been brought up in the car ride to Emmerdale — plus there was more there, something that made Robert sad in a way that’d made Aaron’s heart clench. It was Jack Sugden, he supposed, and a surge of anger flooded Aaron. Robert told him enough, he knew Jack Sugden was the reason for a lot of Robert’s lousy behavior. 

Aaron knew that he knew that pain and that anger and that temper. 

“Your mum is worried.”

“None of her business.”

“He could hurt ya, Aaron.”

“Anyone could hurt me, Paddy.”

“Well… suppose.”

“Look… you don’t know him.”

“I knew him, from before…”

“Had private chats with him then, like with me?”

“Well, no…”

“Then you don’t know him. Maybe give him a chance… FOR ME.”

Paddy went quiet and serious for a minute, then he slowly nodded. 

Aaron breathed out in a sigh of relief. “Tell her that too?” 

Paddy shook his head. “You need to talk to her yourself, Aaron.”

“Yeah…” Aaron nodded and stood up. 

“Oh, doing that now then?”

Aaron laughed. “Better now than later… I want to get back to Keeper’s soon.”

“Alright, but…we need to have a pint, yeah?”

Aaron smiled. “Yeah, I’m here for a while yet, Pads... I have a present for Leo and want to catch up…” his emotions rose up as he looked at the man in front of him. He really did love him. 

Paddy smiled and then Aaron was being hugged, and he hesitated for a second like he always did with hugs until something inside of him reminded him that Paddy was safe. Then he hugged him back. Then it was over, and he made his way over to the bar. 

His mother was leaning over the counter, chatting with Katie Sugden — Aaron couldn’t help but scowl at her. Robert told him she’d thought he was playing games and lying about his sexuality. It’d hurt Robert and Aaron didn’t have the patience for that, at all. He cocked his head at his mum though when she glanced at him. Then he walked into the backroom, she followed him a second later. 

He turned around and waited. 

Chas crossed her arms and sighed. 

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

“He’s bad news.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Katie told me his last relationship ended with him cheating on his long term girlfriend — just like he’d done to her and so many others. He can’t keep it in his pants…”

“Not my experience,” Aaron said because Robert could’ve slept with other men, there was nothing about being exclusive in their no-strings deal — Aaron nearly laughed and wondered who they were fooling? There was nothing but strings, since the first moment Robert kissed him. 

“Aaron, he’s not gay… he’s playing some game.”

“Katie told you that.”

“She knows him.”

“I doubt it,” Aaron said. “This is real, mum… me and him. It’s real, and I want it… I love him.”

Chas’ face fell, and she shook her head. “Aaron, no…he’s no good for you. I wish you’d give Alex a chance.”

“Who?”

“That gorgeous and sweet doctor I set you up with last night.”

“Mum… I don’t even remember what he looks like, because I love my boyfriend…” he smiled because saying it made it feel more real, like maybe somehow he could wrap his brain around getting Robert. There being a him and Robert. 

“This makes no sense… what happened to you wanting to play the field?” 

Aaron laughed. “Now you’re behind that?”

“Well…’ Chas asked. 

“I met him, Mum. And I… he’s…” Aaron felt too much to try put it into words, all he knew was he’d found something special, something that didn’t have words that would explain it. It was just Robert, he was just Robert — and that meant a whole lot. “Please be happy for me… this is…”

“You think you’re in love with him.”

“I am mum.”

“He’s a user.”

“Was… Mum.”

“He’s not gay.”

“He’s bisexual…” Aaron shook his head. 

Chas scoffed. 

“Could you try, mum?”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m asking,” he shouted. 

Chas’ face fell and twisted into a guilty expression. She let out another sigh and started to nod. “I…guess, I’ll have to try then.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes…. I… don’t want to fight, Aaron.”

“Good.”

“I don’t trust him…but I’ll try alright, I promise. For you.”

Aaron nodded because he supposed it was the best he could hope for at the moment. He chewed on his lip and waited for her to make her next move. 

“Just tell me why…” Chas sighed.

“Why what?”

“You trust him?”

“He never wakes me up by touching me,” Aaron muttered before he could stop it.

“What?” Chas stared at him, confused. 

She didn’t know, no one really knew about it… about how a wrong touch could set him off and cause him to meltdown. Cause him to fall apart for days and plummet into a dark mood it was near impossible to claw his way out of…usually, it was strangers. One night stands, and on the rare occasion, he saw them again. They never remembered. But Robert… he listened, and he took care. Real care — and that was when they were meant to be nothing. 

“I trust him cause he listens to me, Mum,” Aaron said.


	3. Chapter 3

The pub air felt hot on his face after being out in the snowstorm and made him pull out of his leather jacket. The place was packed, everyone off for the holiday and spending their Christmas Eve in the village with friends and family. It was homey, it felt familiar, and it made his skin itch. He tried to shake it off, reminded himself he wasn’t trapped in Emmerdale anymore — he’d escaped. He shook his head, it was always like his mood going from one extreme to another when he was back here — the good and the bad memories clashing together and making him feel chaotic. 

It usually drove him to drink, but when he got to the bar, he leaned on the counter and asked the woman behind the bar. “Aaron in the back?”

“Think so,” she said with a smile. 

“Thanks,” he said and started to round the bar, but his path was blocked by Katie. He shook his head and tried to skirt around her, but she moved with him, and he outright growled. “Move.”

“No, we have a few things to get straight…” she said with an odd laugh. 

He rolled his eyes. “Katie, move.”

“First, I want to know what you’re getting out of this? What’s the play, Robert? Just more attention and cause a scene?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why mess with Chas Dingle’s kid?”

“He’s not a kid,” Robert said with an eye roll. “And the reason you can’t figure out a ploy is there is none.”

“Robert,” Katie laughed again. “This is me. I know you’re not gay.” 

He shook his head. 

“So, that means you’re up to something. You always are, there is some angle — and I’ll figure it out.”

“You sound ridiculous, you know that?”

“I’m not letting you ruin Aaron’s life.”

He rolled his eyes. 

“See, can’t even be arsed to deny it, can you?”

Robert laughed. “I don’t have time for this,” he muttered and tried to dodge her again. 

“Come on, Robert… just admit it you’re not gay.”

“I’m not gay,” he said with a smug smile. 

Her eyes widened in shocked, and she crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “What?” she mumbled thrown off. 

“I’m not gay,” he said again. 

Her eyes narrowed. 

Robert tried to dodge her again, but she moved with him. Irritation spiked, and he tampered down the urge to bodily toss her out of his way. “Katie move.”

“You’re up to something.”

“Believe what you want.”

“You’re using him, you’re just a user…”

“Whatever…” he looked away from her for a second. It was true, most of his past relationships; there was almost always something more it in for him than just sex. Ulterior motives were second nature to him, and maybe she wasn’t all wrong. He’d started this out with Aaron as a deal, something to scratch an itch — maybe it’d never been true, but that was their beginning. 

“Hit a nerve, did I?” Katie grinned back to being smug, and he hated she knew him enough to read him. He’d let her in too close once, and maybe he’d burned her, but she’d burned him too. 

“Think what you want.” He felt like they were going in circles. “But, I’m with Aaron, there is no agenda, Katie, it’s just true, alright. And no, I’m not gay, but I am bisexual. I can’t help it’s too big of a word for your tiny brain to fathom.” 

“Please, that’s not even a thing.”

“Queerphobia…you look horrid enough for it to suit ya.”

“I hate you,” she hissed. 

“That’s mutual. Get out of my way.” 

“I hate you,” she repeated and stepped backward. 

He finally pushed by her, a bit too hard, but her damn arm could take it. She was the perfect representative of why he hated Emmerdale and preferred to keep it behind him. He could hear his father echoed in every word she spoke — he tried to remind himself that Andy’d been good so far, though he hadn’t seen him again yet. But last night been good, he’d been happy for him. He believed him. That was real. It wouldn’t vanish away. 

He stepped into the back room just in time to hear Aaron.

“I trust him cause he listens to me, Mum,” he said, and his eyes widened as he spotted Robert. His entire face fell with embarrassment as he glanced at his mother. “Be nice.”

“Wha…” Chas asked confused but then turned around. 

“Chas,” Robert said, refusing to her see he cared what she thought — he wished he didn’t, but Aaron cared about her. She was his mum, and somehow that made her matter to Robert. It was an odd feeling, and he wasn’t sure where to put it or even feel it. 

“Robert.”

“Mum,” Aaron said. 

Chas raised her hand. “You’re gay.”

Robert sighed in frustration. 

“He’s bisexual, Mum.”

Chas snorted. 

“I love him,” Robert said, catching Chas’ gaze with his own. He heard the challenge in his voice, daring her to question it. He wanted her to make him prove it — maybe he needed to prove it. 

Chas kept a poker face, but she stance relaxed, then she took a deep breath. “Fine…I’ll try,” she said, looking at Aaron.

Aaron looked relieved. 

Chas didn’t, but she nodded at Robert, to be polite and nothing more and walked back out to the pub. Robert felt tired, he felt drained, it all felt like too much, and he stepped further into the room and slumped down onto the couch. Needing to sit, it felt like it was too hard to stand. 

Aaron was in front of him sitting on the table in front of the couch, and his hands fell onto Robert’ thighs. “Sorry,” he said and rolled his eyes. 

“I hate this village,” Robert muttered.

“Not all bad.”

“Don’t mind the snow,” he mumbled.

Aaron looked behind him and out the window. “Really coming down, huh?”

“White Christmas’ are nice,” Robert smiled. 

“Is his more than my mum?”

“Katie…” Robert shook his head. “She hates me.”

“She’s a cow.”

“Still, I was horrible.”

“Gives her a right to be now, does it?” Aaron shook his head. 

Robert smiled. “Are you’re biased.”

Aaron shook his head. “If I am, don’t care.”

“No?”

“I know you,” Aaron whispered and grabbed Robert’s hands. “We’re going upstairs.”

~~~

Aaron bit his lip the minute they stepped into his old room. It was pretty much as he left it, it just was clean, you could see the floor — he used to keep it littered with his dirty clothes. He wasn’t much better now, really, but then again he barely remembered what his room in his flat looked like. Robert’s bedroom came to mind, with its clean lines and soft sheets. Aaron looked at him now, and he looked more relaxed than he had downstairs, and it made him breath easier. He hoped his mum meant it, and she would try — it was all he could ask. Aaron wished he could get Katie to back off. He knew her past with Robert was complicated, and he tried to shove down the jealousy that came knowing they had one. Robert seemed to hate her now, but all that proved was that whatever happened never been simple. 

“So, this where you grew up?” Robert asked, looking around the small room. 

Aaron shrugged. “Minus my cd collection and a mess.”

“Yeah…” he walked to Aaron and grabbed his hips. “Let me guess not one Christmas CD in that mix.”

“I look like a loser, mate?”

“No…” Robert smiled, and his eyes dropped to Aaron’s mouth. “You look right fit.”

Aaron tried not to smile, but he failed and let his hands land on Robert’s chest, and he could feel his heart pounding under his palm. It felt like it was racing and felt a surge of satisfaction that it was because of him. He leaned forward and pressed mouth against Robert’s throat and inhaled. It made him laugh. “You smell like cookie dough…”

“We went overboard…” he shook his head. “But we always do.”

Aaron wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck. “You enjoyed it?”

“Yeah…I mean, it was just her and me. Wish the rest of my lot didn’t come with the package.”

“I’m sorry about my mum…”

“Don’t…” Robert shook his head. “She’s your mum…” his eyes darkened and darted away. 

“Robert?”

“I miss mine…” he sighed. 

Aaron pulled Robert into him.

“Another reason I hate coming back here.”

“It’s not for long.”

“Already feels like forever…” Robert gripped onto him. “But I have you.”

“Yeah,” Aaron grinned.

Robert pressed his face against Aaron’s neck and kissed him. 

Aaron ran his hands down his back.

“Aaron…” Robert’s voice was husky and sent a shiver down his spine.

In seconds Aaron was on his back, remembering how to lump his old mattress was but it didn’t matter. Not when Robert was over him, thigh slotted between Aaron’s legs. He hooked a leg up and yanked Robert harder against him as they kissed. Their mouths open, messy and wet and in their rhythm, knowing just what they liked and how to pull it out of the other…

They’d always known how to do this, since the first time Robert grabbed Aaron’s face and smashed their mouths together. But it felt better now like sex had felt better last night — and it wasn’t new, but it was different. Aaron knew it was because he was letting himself think the word _ love._

Loved Robert’s mouth.

Loved Robert’s hands.

Loved Robert’s weight. 

Loved Robert’s cock. 

He felt him, he felt himself, trapped in their jeans, trapped between them and Aaron shoved Robert off him and grabbed at his own zipper. Robert managed not to the fall off the bed and struggled with his belt beside him. Aaron kicked off his jeans and what looked like Robert’s boxers, and he blushed more at that than at what they were doing. He batted away Robert’s hands and grabbed his belt and yanked it lose and undid the buttons and the fly and pulled until Robert was half-naked and trapped under his stare. 

Yeah, he loved Robert’s cock, and he stared at it and licked his lips. 

Robert groaned. 

Aaron’s eyes shifted up to see his face and caught him staring at his cock. 

“Do you have…” Robert started to ask.

“No,” Aaron sighed. 

“We can make do….” Robert pulled Aaron on top of him and bit at his earlobe and whispered in his ear voice huskier than ever, “Just keep me under you.”

He lifted up to seek out Robert’s eyes and nodded when he saw the same demand in them and felt arousal and attraction pool in his gut. He grabbed Robert’s hands and pushed them over his head and bit and licked down his throat to his chest. Robert whimpering and saying his name over and over again…. 

He loved his name on Robert’s tongue and moved up to kiss him, to feel it moaned into his mouth. Aaron sucked on his tongue and wrapped his hand around both their cocks and started to stroke, his mouth falling to Robert’s jaw and neck. 

“Aaron...Aaron….’ Robert huffed out and tried to kiss him back, but Aaron bit his chin instead. “I want…” 

He quickened up his strokes and Robert breathed a yes against his cheek and rolled his hips up into Aaron’s strokes. “Wanna touch you…” Robert breathed out. 

Aaron nodded. 

And hands were on his face, yanking him where Robert wanted him, and Aaron tasted his mouth again, but could really only huffed into it as he took them both to the end, and everything went satisfyingly hazy. 

Moments later, he opened his eyes and found Robert staring at him and smiled. Robert bit his lip and ran a hand down Aaron’s back. “I needed that.”

Aaron kissed his cheek. 

“It feels different,” Robert whispered. 

“It does….” Aaron burrowed himself against Robert, his head on his chest, his heart thumping in his ear. The beat of it felt the same as his own, and it made his eyes fall closed.


	4. Chapter 4

The only sound in the room was the zip of two zippers being refastened, and it made disappointment jab Robert in the gut. He let himself sink back into the bed and listened to the jangle of Aaron’s belt as he refastened it. Robert let his own hang open and turned on his side because he wanted to stare at Aaron’s profile. Because he could stare at Aaron’s profile, he could let himself show the attraction that was always buzzing underneath his skin when he was with Aaron. He’d denied so much, for so long and it all felt stupid now — ridiculous even. Why had he bothered? What had he’d been afraid of? Because this felt perfect — well, not quite perfect. Aaron was dressed. He sighed. 

Aaron turned, taking away his profile but giving Robert his eyes, and his expression was bemused confusion. But he settled into the bed as well and leaned forward enough that their noses were nearly touching. He was so close, Robert could feel the heat of him and smell him — Aaron, it was intoxicating and he no way to describe it, it was solely Aaron’s scent, and he wanted to inhale it and taste it. Taste him, and he leaned in to kiss him, but a cellphone ruined the moment. 

Aaron frowned. “I told you, they’re going to keep bothering us.” 

“Doesn’t mean we have to listen.” 

Aaron smiled, and Robert was kissing him, unsure if he or Aaron initiated it, but really that didn’t matter at all, all that mattered was the soft lips against his own and the perfect scrape of stubble against his skin. He sighed and let himself enjoy the soft slide of it and slow pace. There was no rush, there was no reason too anymore — they didn’t need to make it just sex. There was more truth in every touch they made now, and his hands fell down to Aaron’s belt and started to attempt to undo it again… 

But his cellphone ringtone filled the air.

Aaron pulled away from him laughing and gave him a look that spoke volumes — I told you so. Robert sighed and bumped their noses. 

“We need to be alone,” he whined.

“We are,” Aaron said.

Robert rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean… we need to be back in my flat. For one, it doesn’t have lumps that dig into ya, and two, no one can interrupt us there.”

“One two many mornings of interrupted sex says otherwise, mate,” Aaron laughed. 

“Shut up.” Robert shook his head. “You know what I mean…” he touched Aaron’s face and realized something important. “I need to take you out.”

“Out?”

“On a date,” Robert said.

Aaron scoffed. “Why?”

“Why?” Robert rolled his eyes. “Because of you…you deserve it, I want too, it’s….we’re not some no strings casual sex deal, Aaron. I need to show you, I want to show you….” He looked away as an unexpected slam of emotions rocked him. 

Aaron’s hand was against his chest then, against his heart, and he felt himself blush. Because it was racing and now Aaron knew, though maybe that was okay? His eyes sought Aaron out because he couldn’t stand to look away for too long, because he needed the reassurance. They were deep blue and perfect and looking at him softly.  
“I want to take you,” Robert repeated. 

“Alright.” Aaron nodded.

“When we get home…I’ll sort it. I’ll wine and dine you.”

“Not really my thing,” Aaron laughed.

“Fine, I’ll beer and burger ya.”

“Yeah?”

Robert shook his head. “No, yeah… I’ll figure it out, I’ll surprise ya.”

“Will ya?” Aaron smiled.

“Yeah,” Robert nodded. “I want too, I want to give you…” he swallowed. 

“Me too,” Aaron breathed. 

Robert leaned forward and kissed him because there were no more words. It was soft again and slow, but it burned hot, and Aaron’s hands were under his shirt, on his back and Robert moved to be on top of him, wanting to feel Aaron underneath him….

The door to the room opened. 

“OUT,” Chas Dingle barked. 

“Mum,” Aaron shouted back as they moved apart. Robert nearly falling off the bed as he stared at Chas, irritation replacing the feeling the belonging. She stood just inside the door, her eyes covered — not that there was anything to see, she’d stopped them too soon. 

“Go on, Vic and Adam both been down in the pub waiting… Cain and the family are here. As well as Paddy, with Leo — he said you owe him a pint, Aaron. You can’t ignore responsibilities…” she dropped her hand to glare at Robert. 

He rolled his eyes. 

Aaron grunted. 

And they both rolled off the bed, and Robert started to fasten up his belt, annoyed that he had too, annoyed they were interrupted and feeling a spike of his usual hatred of Emmerdale. He glanced over the bed and met Aaron’s eyes, he looked moody and unhappy too. Their eyes meant and Robert felt an urge to grab him and run, to run back to Hotten — back to where they could be alone without other responsibilities and people who hated him getting in the middle. 

“Sorry,” Aaron mumbled at him. 

Robert shrugged because it wasn’t Aaron’s fault.

“Come on now,” Chas barked. 

“Mum...” Aaron sighed. 

Chas just glared at Robert one last time before vanishing. Fear filled him because she was never going to like him and he…hated that it bothered him. Why should he care if Chas Dingle liked him or not? 

“Robert?” Aaron's voice was near his ear, and Robert turned, and he was there. Standing in front of him, looking bloody beautiful.

He smiled. 

Aaron smiled back, but he shook his head. “Sorry,” he said again.

“It’s not your fault… We are here to see our families, right. It’s Christmas.’

“Yeah…” Aaron nodded. “Guess we better.”

“Guess we better.”

~~~

Robert swallowed the rest of the pint in his hand and looked over his sister’s head at Aaron. He was in a corner booth, stuck between Adam and Cain Dingle. Paddy Kirk sitting across from him. He was laughing, and he looked beautiful — and he was too far away. It was making Robert’s skin itch. 

Vic’s laughter pulled him away from Aaron. He met her eyes, and she was smirking at him. “What?”

“You’ve got it so bad,” she laughed. 

“Will you stop…” he muttered, her constant teasing kept making him feel too vulnerable — he wasn’t sure he wanted anyone else to see what he was feeling for Aaron. That wasn’t something to be shared, he thought, and his eyes flicked back over to him. Only to meet his eyes, Aaron smiled at him, and Robert knew he matched it. 

“No,” Vic laughed.

Robert looked back at her and sighed. 

“I’m going to go start prepping for tomorrow, so we don’t get too far behind — because we always end up behind,” Vic said. 

“Alright.”

“Come back soon and help me?” she grinned.

He felt him nod. She was why he was in this godforsaken village, after all — and he liked cooking with her. It was always just them, it was something they shared no one else could touch, and he did love her. More than he knew what to do with sometimes — he looked over at Aaron and felt overwhelmed. Because it was the same… it almost felt like too much. 

“Good,” she leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Now, I just need to drag Ellis away from his pint…”

He laughed and watched her walk over to where her boyfriend was drinking with is bother by the bar. He watched Ellis grin as she walked over and get up with her, no questions asked — he did suppose he liked him. Sorta. He didn’t think he’d break her heart at least. He watched them leave the pub, then let his eyes find Aaron again. He was leaning forward, talking to Paddy — the only other person left at the table. Robert decided that was good enough, they’d behaved long enough, given their families enough time. He started to stand up to go over there when Adam was sitting down across from him. 

Robert fell back into his seat and stared at him.

Adam looked behind him, at Aaron and then back at Robert. 

“What?”

“I don’t trust you?”

“I don’t see how that matters,” Robert said. 

“I’ve seen the revolving door of women that came in out of your place, for two years now…” Adam said.

“So?”

“So, why is it, until Aaron I never saw a man?”

Robert shook his head. “How that is any of your business…”

“He’s my business.”

Robert laughed. “Oh, I get it now. This is the hurt Aaron, and I kill you speech?”

“No. It’s the hurt Aaron and Cain will kill you speech,” Adam said his eyes going behind Robert. 

Robert turned to see Cain standing a bit away, against one of the pillars in the room, arms crossed and staring at their table. It was intimidating, not because Cain looked frightening but because Robert knew him, well enough, he remembered enough to know that real bodily was possible. It felt it, but it made him shrug, and he turned back toward Adam. 

“Understood?” Adam asked.

“I’ve got no plans to hurt Aaron.”

“Unlike every other person, no woman, you’ve dated,” Adam asked.

“I’m bisexual, Adam.”

“I want to believe it, for his sake but…”

“What?”

“I know your reputation.”

“I know yours, too, you know,” Robert snapped. “How long did you date, my sister, when you were younger, Adam? Was it a year, how many times did you cheat on her — oh was it twice? That beats my record, doesn’t it?”

Adam slid down his seat and looked away. 

“How about we don’t shove our pasts in each other’s faces.” Robert sighed and stood up. 

“I was a kid,” Adam muttered.

“So was I?”

“Last two years, you weren’t…”

“I promised none of those women anything,” Robert snapped.

“What about your fiancee?”

Robert sighed. 

“I don’t want him getting hurt, he’s… not as tough as he acts.”

Robert sighed and glanced over at Aaron. He caught him watching them, a worried look on his face and he smiled to try to reassure him. He glanced back at Adam. “I know,” he said. “I don’t want him hurt him.”

“Then you better not,” Adam said.

Robert shook his head and turned around, he walked past a glaring, Cain, and outside. It was still snowing, a strong wind sending it right into his face, and he bent his head down and just walked until he stopped short. Because he heard steps behind him, muffled from the snow but he knew who it was… 

And warmth flooded him. 

“What was all that?” Aaron was asking the second he was inside of Robert’s body space. 

Robert grabbed his hips and pulled him even closer. “Nothing.”

“Didn’t look nothing,” Aaron muttered.

“It’s nothing I wouldn’t have done in their place,” Robert said. 

Aaron sighed. “They didn’t.”

“They did,” Robert shrugged. “I don’t blame them.”

“I do,” Aaron barked, and he started to turn around.

Robert tightened his grip. “Don’t. Yell at them later. I missed ya.”

“I was across the room.” Aaron smiled.

“You missed me too,” Robert muttered. 

Aaron shrugged, but his eyes told the truth. 

“Getting home, getting you on your own, it’s going feel like forever.”

“Then we better make good use of right now,” Aaron said with a grin. “We’re all alone…” Aaron gripped his jacket and yanked him down for a kiss. 

Robert felt himself melt right into it.


	5. Chapter 5

The downstairs at Vic's felt stifling warm, but Aaron found he didn't much care, not when Robert was standing in front of him in short sleeves chopping vegetables. It was impressive to watch, he supposed, he really didn't know, and his main focus was really the muscles of Robert's forearms. And he never much figured himself any part of the body type — at least not before Robert. Now he seemed to be into arses, freckles, and forearms. No, there was more biceps and green-blue eyes…. 

He blushed at all the thoughts racing in his head and made himself avert his attention away from Robert. He looked down into the milky tea he was holding and found himself smiling for another reason. Robert had made it, no questions asked, and it was perfect. Just the right dash of milk and the too much sugar that made Robert roll his perfect eyes.

Aaron scowled at himself, he sounded so soppy in his head — it felt unnatural, but it was hard to hate it. He felt happy, which felt weird and strange. It was terrifying, really and his heart started to pound a bit to face. He felt the heat wafting from the kitchen. Vic having all the burners and the oven going — everything smelled wonderful. He almost didn't want to leave, but he really couldn't skip the Dingle Do. He reminded himself Robert was showing up later, after both their families had eaten. They were both starting their feasts around the same time…

It would all work out. 

It was just, he looked up at the sound of the knife cutting, quickly as a real chef, through some kind of vegetable Aaron didn't know the name of — probably never eaten. Robert was bent down, tongue poking out between his lips and intensely focused. Aaron knew what that felt like, that intense focus, he liked it when it was aimed at him. 

He felt lucky. 

His eyes dragged up and down Robert, and he wondered how about much time they'd wasted, and he felt the strong surge of impatience for them to get started to make up for that last time. Only they were surrounded by family and obligations, Christmas traditions — 

He wanted to make their own. But they didn't even have presents for each other. It felt wrong to Aaron, and he wasn't sure what to do with it. The truth was he hadn't bought anyone but his mum and his sister something. Liv's sent to Ireland weeks ago and Chas' didn't seem like anything special, it was just some jumper off one of her online wish lists. Robert deserved something special, something that meant something. 

Aaron frowned because he was clueless about what that was, what it could be? This wasn't him? Thoughts like this never flickered through his mind before, and he wasn't sure what to do with the feelings and the impulses. He wasn't sure he was good enough for Robert. 

"Your phone is ringing, mate," Ellis' voice cut into his thoughts and Aaron stared blankly at him for a second before he heard his phone, trilling from his pocket. He tore his eyes away from Robert and looked at the caller idea. 

His mum. He frowned. She wasn't happy at all, and last night she'd been especially unhappy when he announced he would be spending all his nights at Keepers. Did she really expect him to stay at the pub, without Robert — because it was obvious he wouldn't be welcome there. He sighed and ignored the call. He'd see her soon enough. He sipped at his tea, purposely slowly, because maybe he did have to leave, but he could procrastinate doing so… 

A sharp cold wind made him jump, and he turned to see Andy and Katie walking inside, holding a million gift bags it seemed. Ellis appeared from behind him to help them carry everything in, and Aaron couldn't help feeling like Vic's place was really too small for this. He thought for a second he should go and help them, but then his and Katie's eyes met and the way her expression turned to pure distaste, and she searched out the room. When she found Robert, she glared and pursed her lips. 

Aaron felt himself glaring right back at her, as her eyes came back to him and stared directly at him. For longer than need be, and it made him look away, both feeling comfortable at the eye contact and hating the expression in her eyes. It was dark and ugly, as far as he could tell. 

He sipped at his brew and sought out Robert instead to find him watching him and Katie. He looked confused and worried, and Aaron sought out eye contact. He smiled when he felt Robert staring right at him — right through him and wondered how it didn't make him feel antsy. He smiled more and shrugged to tell Robert to just ignore her. He got a small nod in return as Robert fell back to… well, now it looked like he was rolling out pasta. Aaron shook his head and wondered at the real depth of Robert's cooking skills. 

"So?" Katie said.

Aaron blinked a bit, realizing she'd decided to block his view. "Uh…" 

"Is he paying you? Blackmailing you?"

"No." He rolled his eyes.

Katie huffed. "He's not gay."

He rolled his eyes again. 

"He's using you."

Aaron scoffed. 

"That's all he is, user — there's an angle here, I know it."

He wondered if he could get an eye injury as his eyes flew up to the top of his head, yet again. 

"Aaron, are you listening?"

"You're right in my face, so have little choice on hearing ya," he snapped. 

"I'm trying to look out for you here. You know, he admitted to me yesterday he's not gay."

“Did the word _bisexual_ pop up in the rest of the sentence.”

"Oh, please, he's lying. He's straight, Aaron. He's always been a two-timing womanizer."

'Lucky for me then I have a dick," he snapped and dodged her, only to see Robert striding the short space between them. Aaron caught his eye, and he looked furious, and he looked around, suddenly aware of everyone else in the room. 

Andy went up to Katie and shook his head. "What is going on."

"Just trying to warn Aaron," Katie said smugly. 

"Back off," Robert snapped, but he let Aaron bar him from getting closer to her. "Just let it go, will ya?"

"You're trouble."

"Katie…" Andy said, but it didn't sound like a warning, but instead, it sounded put upon. 

"Why are you all pretending like he's not some liar, he's a liar?"

"Cause I have eyes," Vic shouted coming out of the kitchen. "I mean it, Katie, if you don't behave you can leave." 

"What?" Katie's eyes went wide.

"This is my house, and I want my brother here. So either shut it or leave. Please, don't be boring. It's Christmas, my first with Ellis here and I want to be special…" Vic stared at Katie. "Please, I love ya too, I love you both…" she looked at Robert. 

Aaron felt Robert sag back against him, and he reached out and put a hand on the back of his neck for a second. In support. Robert nodded before he muttered about needing air and walked out of the house. Aaron on his heels, but he turned back, and Katie was watching them with an unhappy expression. He frowned before he stepped out into the cold. 

He found Robert leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest, he looked freezing. Aaron moved to stand in front of him, knocking into his space and putting his hands on his hips. Pressing close, he could feel their body heat and the cold at his back. He shivered and met Robert's eyes — they looked stormy but also resigned. 

"Don't let her get ya," Aaron said. 

"She's always been single-minded…" he shrugged. 

"She'll let it go," Aaron said.

"Yeah, well, it really won't matter once we're out of here," Robert groused, and his hands landed on Aaron's shoulders. "I can't wait to get you on your own," he said his voice low. 

Aaron blushed and nodded, suddenly not trusting his voice. 

"Just us, you know, figure this all out… where we can breathe."

Aaron nodded again. 

Robert bent down and kissed him. Soft, not quick but chastely. Aaron felt himself lean in when he pulled away, and he gripped Robert's hip. 

"Today's going to be awkward…" Robert muttered. 

"You get to leave for Wishing Well at least," Aaron smiled.

Robert returned it. "Wish I could just come with you."

"And put up with my family?"

"I'd take your mum glaring at me than Katie trying to get in your head…" 

Aaron sighed. 

"Hey…."

"Just wish they knew ya like I do."

Robert raised an eyebrow and smirked. 

"Not like that, shut up," Aaron laughed. 

"I know," Robert whispered. 

Aaron grinned and touched his face, his cheek was freezing, and he realized he was starting to shake from the cold. "We can't stay out here …you'll get sick."

"Yeah… Vic needs me to finish the pasta."

"Didn't know had skills beyond fancy fish and green things."

"Salmon and spinach…" Robert grinned at him. "You're yuck face at the spinach was adorable."

"Shut up…" Aaron shook his head. 

Robert smiled more and kissed his forehead. It took Aaron's breathe away because it was simple, affectionate, it felt almost more real than their kisses. He swallowed hard but found himself lost staring at Robert' face. "Let's get this day over with, yah?" he said. 

"One day closer to home," Robert nodded. 

"Yeah… I'll leave after you finish that pasta."

"Yeah, why is that?"

Aaron shrugged. "Kinda fit when you cook."

Robert blushed and gripped one of Aaron's hands and pulled him back into the house. Aaron let himself be pulled over to the corner where Robert' makeshift cooking station been set up. He leaned against a wall and settled in to watch Robert make the pasta. It felt so right, and it curled around him, warmer than the hot air from all the cooking. He stared at Robert and thought he could definitely do this forever.


	6. Chapter 6

It was freezing outside, but Robert could breathe, and he stared up the sky. It was clear for the first time in days, and the stars were bright overhead. He felt like it'd been years since he'd seen them — had he even looked? He shook his head, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from them. It was beautiful, and it was a brighter sight in here in Emmerdale than it would be back in Hotten. Home. He thought it purposely and nodded to himself. He tried to shake off the tension that was in his spine and neck from being inside. Stuck with his family. It wasn't easy when you really only liked one of them. He frowned and told himself he loved Andy — and for the moment, he believed it. But did he like him? Did he want to like him?

_You should try._

Her voice. He always heard more clearly in Emmerdale. It was like she wanted him there, or maybe it was just all the memories were louder here. He missed her, and it hurt, always hurt — and that made looking at Andy hard. He wondered if he would ever fully forgive him? He tried, over and over, rationally, he even knew it'd been a horrible mistake. 

But she was dead. 

He sighed and started walking. It wasn't even conscious, and before he knew it, he was in the cemetery and at her gravestone. It was covered in snow, her name nearly obscured, but it didn't matter he knew it. He knew the dates, and he knew the words engraved into the stone. They were real, she was his mum, she'd always been his mum, and he missed her. All the time but it cut deeper somedays more than others. It cut deeper in Emmerdale. And it was hurting him harder and ever this year, and he knew why… He knew exactly why. 

"I met someone," he said. "Someone who is…" he shook his head as he tried to search for words to explain Aaron to her, but he kept coming up short because it all sounded too simple in his head, but it wasn't simple. It was special, it was different. Aaron wasn't just someone he met.. 

"It's more than that…" he sighed. "It's a man for one… Vic's been great about that, but that's not a surprise, huh? Andy's been… I thought he might hate me for it, but he's trying — maybe it's the holiday," he sighed. "It's a Dingle," he laughed. "I love a Dingle… Dad's probably rolling over in his grave…"

He glanced toward Jack's headstone and shivered. "For more than one reason…" he shoved it away and focused back on Sarah. 

"Mum…his name is Aaron, and he's…" he shook his head. "Amazing sounds wrong, even if it's true. We're …we pretended for a long time we weren't feeling something special. I feel like an idiot, like I wasted time with him, even if we were together the whole time. Does that make sense?"

He dug his toe into the snow and stared at the grave for another few minutes. "I wish, I wish you were here, to meet him, to talk too — I don't want to mess this up…and people keep reminding me that all I've ever done is mess things up." 

His eyes slipped closed, and he listened. He wasn't sure what he was listening for, but all that he could hear was the wind, and all he felt was the cold. He frowned and felt like a fool. He sniffled and told himself it was the cold and blinked his eyes a few times before he started to head back toward the village. He walked past Keeper's and toward Aaron's car, digging the keys to it out of his leather jacket's inside pocket. He slid into the driver's seat and turned the engine on, jacking up the heat, and pulled out his phone. Sent Vic a quick text to tell her he was heading the Dingles. He hadn't had dessert yet, but he couldn't go back into that house again… Diane, Andy and Katie, it was all too much. 

~~~

"There you are," Chas called out. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Aaron muttered, but he didn't take his eyes off of the sky. 

"Never took you for a stargazer."

"I'm not," he muttered and hoped she couldn't see him blushing. He'd been staring the stars and comparing them to the patterns in Robert's freckles. He felt like some soppy teenager, who saw the person they loved in everything… He filled like Robert was the only thing his brain had room for. Maybe it was because it was new, that was what he was telling himself… because it made his heart race, it made his skin feel clammy. 

It scared him. 

Love scared him. 

And he felt itchy and impatient to see Robert because he calmed him down, it was easier to settle into it when he was in touching distance, and he could listen to his voice. When they would talk about stupid things and not let the rest of the world near them. Because they were good at that, falling together and closing everything else out that was around them. 

And Aaron loved his family, but they were loud, and none of them were thrilled he was seeing Robert Sugden. And it hurt, it felt like they didn't trust him. It felt like they were judging someone who wasn't any worse than any of them — the Dingles were no saints, and most of Robert's wrongs been done when he was a teenager, a kid… 

It was grating that they wouldn't consider giving him a chance without Aaron pushing it and pushing it. So, he looked at his mum and waited for it, and she must have seen in it in his face because she sighed. 

"Aaron."

"He'll be here soon," Aaron reminded her.

"I'll play nice," she said.

Aaron waited.

"But…" 

He rolled his eyes. 

"He's a cheater."

"Never cheated on me."

"You've not been together that long."

"Half a year," Aaron snapped, because it was true, maybe it was a lie too, but it was truer than it wasn't. "He's never even looked at someone else."

"And you'd know?"

Aaron shook his head. "I know him better than you… and better than Katie."

"Really? Katie grew up with him and Andy, between them, and it was Robert who put her there."

"Right, she's innocent and made no choices of her own."

"He's a manipulator."

Aaron shrugged. 

"You're my son…"

"Then trust me," Aaron said. 

Chas sighed. 

"Are you going to try or not, because I feel like we keep having this same conversation and I don't want to have it again, it's already tired." 

She threw up her hands. "I'll try."

Aaron nodded and turned at the sound of a car and spotted his pulling up toward the Wishing Well. Instantly he felt he was standing on solid ground, and he forgot about his mum as he started walking toward him. 

~~~

Aaron watched Robert emerge from the car, making out his profile by the light from the stars and the moon. He was looking right at Aaron, his mouth curled upward in a smile that felt new to Aaron. After all this time there it was all so new, and it would be. They weren't lying anymore, and he wondered if he relief from that would ever wane. He wondered if he wanted it too, he smiled back and wondered if it looked new to Robert. The things bubbling in his chest felt new, but also familiar. He felt like he was lighting up from the inside, and he felt suddenly less alone. 

He'd felt alone inside, and he always did, as much as he belonged with the Dingles, he always felt a bit on the outside. But with Robert that unsettling outside feeling was fading away. He walked around the car and met Robert's confused stare over the roof of the car. He opened the backdoor and cocked his head to tell Robert to do the same. 

The inside of the car was still warm, and he wondered how high Robert had cranked the heat for his drive up to Wishing Well from the village. He smiled as their eyes met, and their bodies bumped into each other, the both of them going to the center of the backseat. He felt cold palms on his cheeks and laughed at the sensation before a tongue silenced it. He sighed around it, sliding his own alongside it. Robert's thumbs dug against his cheekbones, and Aaron grabbed at his elbows. 

It lasted forever and not long enough at all. 

"Hi," Robert laughed as their noses bumped. 

Aaron laughed. 

Robert grinned at him. 

"How was dinner?"

"Awkward, why I escaped early."

"Yeah? It's loud in there, why I was out there."

Robert nodded. "We can go in…" 

Aaron shook his head. 

"You don't want too?"

"You shouldn't want too…my lot…"

"Aren't mine…" Robert made a face.

"My mom keeps echoing Katie, I think…"

Robert frowned. 

"It's not your fault."

"Kind of is…" Robert muttered.

"You were a kid, I was a right mess too."

"Doesn't change my track record…" Robert sighed. 

"I don't care, we're…" Aaron sighed because he didn't want to say different. It sounded trite and naive. He heard it in his head, but he felt the truth of it too, he looked at Robert and he knew he saw someone no one else saw… "I don't care, because it's the past and we all things in our pasts we wish we could forget."

"Some of us more than others."

"Me too.."

Robert nodded. "Something we have in common?"

"One thing, maybe, not much else, though…" Aaron laughed.

"Shut up," Robert laughed. 

"We've never talked much," Aaron said. "I mean, we really don't talk much."

"Why would we when we're so good at not talking." Robert's grin was smug, and then he was pressing a kiss against Aaron's jaw. 

Aaron sighed. "I know, but I want to."

"Really, you?" Robert asked between kisses.

Aaron nodded. 

"Not right now, though?"

"No…" Aaron said and started to push Robert's jacket down his arms. 

It wasn't long until they both had their hands up the other's shirts, Robert was straddling his lap, and they were kissing deep and long, grinding together and doing nothing but driving the other crazy. Robert sighed into Aaron's ear before biting at the rim of it. "It's fucking cold," he muttered.

"You're plenty hot," Aaron muttered his hand palms flat on his Robert's chest, he pushed until leaned back and looked at him with swollen lips and dark green eyes. "Yeah.." He said even as he shivered from the difference between the heat between them and the ever increasing cold in the car. He could see their breath between them before they crashed together again. 

Robert groaned. 

Aaron bit at his neck. "Don't make us stop."

"I'm not getting naked in this car," Robert laughed. 

Aaron laughed with him. 

"At least night in winter," Robert winked at him.

Aaron blushed. 

"We should go in?"

Robert sighed but nodded. 

"Don't let them scare ya?"

"Nothing can scare me off you," Robert promised.


	7. Chapter 7

"You're doing it again…" 

"I'm not."

Aaron opened one eye and snorted when his vision was clouded by one big freckled nose. "I keep telling ya, it's creepy."

"What else am I supposed to do," he laughed, and Aaron felt Robert's fingers dig into the skin of his hip, he tightened his hold as he yanked Aaron closer into him. There wasn't far to go, there never was, really, and Aaron laughed as their noses smushed together. 

"Wake a guy up like a normal person?" Aaron muttered. 

"Can't do that, though, can I?" Robert whispered, his thumb stroking Aaron's hip.

Aaron blushed and ducked his head down. "Maybe you can…cause the staring me awake it's…" he snorted when he couldn't finish the lie that was on his tongue. 

"It's what?"

"Kind of like it," Aaron muttered with an embarrassed laugh. 

Robert's laugh was loud, and it vibrated into the top of his head. 

"Shut up."

"I haven't said a thing."

"You're thinking it," he lifted his head but up and stared into green eyes. 

"I'm thinking a lot of things," Robert said, voice low. 

"Are ya?"

"Yeah, like we only have thirty minutes until my alarm goes off, and the holiday is over."

Aaron groaned. 

"Yeah," Robert's slowly rose his hand up Aaron's side, over his chest, and to his jaw. "What do you think we should do about that?"

"Break your clock, stay in bed," Aaron grinned.

Robert snorted, but it got muffled as his mouth crashed against Aaron's. Aaron hummed into the kiss, melted right into it, and let Robert push him down into the mattress and roll over the top of him. He closed his eyes as Robert's mouth pressed against the side of his neck and slotted their bodies together just perfectly for the right about friction. The familiarity turned him in, the weight of him turned him, and he wondered what it might be like to wake up to Robert kissing his neck, or his throat. He wondered what it might be like for Robert's hand to stroke his chest or his stomach to lull him out of sleep. Maybe he liked being stared at — gazed at more like — more than he really could tell Robert. Because he loved the way Robert looked at him, all focused intensity, he craved it, but there a million other ways he could be woken up….

And maybe he wanted that? 

"Aaron, Aaron…where are you?" Robert's voice dragged him out his thoughts, and he realized he stilled in Robert's arms. He blinked, staring up into green eyes, which were the deep shade of green they were when Robert was aroused, and he bit his lip, his own arousal spiking because it never stopped. 

"Nowhere…" Aaron lied.

Robert raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we're not talking about it now," Aaron laughed and rolled his hips up. 

Robert groaned, and his eyes fell closed. "Alright…but I'm gonna remember this."

"I know…" Aaron sighed because he would, Robert paid attention, and he cared, and Aaron felt himself blush as his feeling overwhelmed him. It was almost too much sometimes. 

~~~

Aaron frowned as he walked into his flat, his eyes falling onto their microwave clock to check the time. He was running late, stupid old ladies and their last-minute oil changes. The garage had seemed ten times busier than usual, and he barely had time to send to Robert a few texts, and now he was typing out another one about running late. But there wasn't much he could do about it, he needed to de-grease himself — as much as possible and then get ready. Like proper, get ready, and he felt his stomach churn a bit. 

He was nervous. It felt ridiculous to be nervous, there was no reason to be nervous. It wasn't like he and Robert hadn't had food together before — okay it was once, he wasn't counting the few times over the past week in Emmerdale. Not this was different, they were going out. Properly going out and Robert assured him over and over where he was being taken was casual and nothing fancy. But it was still their first date. 

Aaron frowned and sat down on the couch. For a minute, he just ran his hands down his face. He just needed to breathe a bit, get some focus. It was Robert, there was no reason to be worried — so what if they'd never gone out for a pint and burgers before. They'd spend plenty of time together, and they were both craving it after a week with their families dragging them away from each other — though, they'd still managed plenty of time on their own in Emmerdale. 

Aaron grinned and found himself thinking Victoria's box room was one of his favorite places in the world now… it was funny the things that could happen, he thought. He shook his head, tonight was nothing, really. He didn't even need it, it was Robert being a bit of a daft muppet really, wanting to take him out, give him the proper dating. He could hear Robert telling him he deserved it, and he wasn't so sure… but maybe Robert did? If it made Robert happy, he could even take him to a fancy place, Aaron thought though he breathed out in relief that wasn't about to happen. 

It didn't mean he was going to just wear any hoodie or whatever. He took a deep breath and got up and headed toward the shower. The first thing he needed to do was try to get the grease off of him and out from under his nails. Then he'd get dressed…

It'd be a piece of cake. 

~~~

Aaron swore as the shirt he'd tried on wouldn't come off his wrist, a string over curses just falling out his mouth as he hopped a bit, fighting with the fabric. He heard the door to his room creak and looked up to see Adam outright laughing at him. 

"Do one," he snapped.

"What are you doing? Auditioning for the role of foul-mouthed sailor in some play?"

"I said, do one," Aaron muttered as he looked through his jumpers and frowned. Not even the newer ones his mum handed him for Christmas seemed right. He frowned and grabbed another shirt, with buttons, it was black, maybe this one wouldn't make him look like he was trying to hard.

"What the hell is all this for?"

"We're going out, aren't we," Aaron muttered.

"Us?" Adam asked, eyes wide.

"What, no, course not, me and Robert."

"Oh, right, of course, you and Robert… what does it matter what you put on? He's just gonna rip it off you, right? You two are like some trashy romance novel couple… it's kind of gross."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "We have a date."

"A date? Isn't it a bit late for all that?"

"That's why, innit?" Aaron said.

"You tell me," Adam laughed. 

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's why," he fixed the collar of the shirt around his neck and tucked it in, fastened up his belt. He nodded to himself in his crappy mirror but frowned an instant later. 

"That is fine, just wear that."

"Is it…" Aaron fiddled with his hair. 

"Lord, you're like some teenager who has never been out before."

"I just… it's Robert," he said like that explained everything. 

"Wow," Adam whistled. 

Aaron stepped forward and opened a drawer he never opened. He stared down at the pile of ties he owned. All four of them and pulled out the blue one and held it up to his throat in the mirror.

"A tie!" Adam laughed. "Seriously?"

"Why not," Aaron muttered as he started to put it on. 

"Wow…" Adam whistled again and walked away. 

~~~

"You've changed your clothes," Leyla's voice was an accusation. 

Robert sat down at his desk and shrugged it off, as he started to pile the files he needed to take home with him in his briefcase — slightly wondering when exactly he was going to work on them since his plans for the night were just one thing and one thing only. Aaron. He pushed the problem to the back of his mind and started to stand up to leave he found he had a Leyla in his way. 

Her hands were on her hips, and she was looking him up and down slowly. "See, you always dress smart…but those are pulling clothes not land a deal clothes that you've just hopped away and put on before leaving."

"And?" he asked her. 

"AND!" she tapped her foot, and he watched her tap her foot and sighed. "Out with it Sugden, who is the hot date?"

"It's not a hot date…" he mumbled. "It's… kind of our first date."

"What?"

"There is this guy…."

"I KNEW IT!" Leyla squealed. "It's Christmas guy, isn't it? The one you took home, the one who hates Christmas music — with him on that." 

Robert rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

"Does he have a name?"

"Aaron," Robert said. 

"Let me see him."

"What?"

Leyla grabbed his phone.

"Whoa…" he tried to get out of her, but she twisted away and moved fast. Robert felt his cheeks heat as he attempted to get at her in time to wrestle it away, but it was too late. 

"MY EYES…." Leyla shouted dramatically, but she was laughing. "Ah, G-rated finally."

"Jesus…" Robert muttered. 

"Might want to start using a passcode," she gave him a wicked smile. 

Robert grabbed his phone from her.

"He's fit."

"I know."

"So, where are you taking him?"

"Just to a diner I like," Robert said.

"A diner?"

"Yeah," Robert said. "It's perfect for him, us, really."

"Burgers? For a first date?"

"Do you know Aaron?" Robert snapped. 

"Feel like I might."

"If you ever tell him what you saw…" Robert groaned, thanking the universe that there wasn't really anything explicitly below the belt on his phone for her find. Aaron would kill him, he'd kill him anyway — thankfully, he'd never know Leyla saw anything.

"A passcode," Leyla laughed.

"It's fine, really, and you're making me late," Robert sighed and turned back to his desk. 

"So, it's not fake, huh?"

"No, it was never fake."

"Could've told you that."

Robert looked at her.

"You look all dreamy when you talk about him, already knew his name was Aaron too — you mention him a lot."

"Do not."

Leyla laughed. "Off, go on, go your burger date."

Robert glared at her and turned around. 

"Think he's too fit to really be in your league, Sugden," she yelled after him. 

Robert sighed as he stepped onto the lift and checked his watch. He was running late, the good news Aaron was running late too. The bad news was it was giving him time to think and second guess himself. It was their first date, and he knew it was unconventional to take a first date to a simple diner, but it was Aaron. He knew Aaron, he wouldn't want something fancier — even if Robert felt the urge to spoil him. He'd hate it though, being wined and dined, and Robert didn't want to make Aaron uncomfortable.

He'd rather make him laugh and smile.

Maybe he'd like to take him somewhere fancier, splurge on him more, but it wasn't like he wasn't about to foot the bill, and maybe he had few other surprises behind his back. It wasn't going to be some simple dinner and a few pints — he was going to make it special. Just in a way that fit Aaron.

And wasn't that what you did when you were in love with someone. You made decisions based on who they were? Not yourself? Robert swallowed and felt the weight of what he felt on his chest, near his heart… the full weight of everything he felt for Aaron. And maybe it'd been a long time coming, but it felt new, he'd only just figured it out, and it was…

Unknown territory 

He'd thought he loved Katie once, but now, he wondered, if it ever came close. He'd thought he could fall in love with Chrissie, but it never did happen, he'd maybe came close, but something stopped him. But Aaron, Aaron, just walked right into his life and made a space there. 

A space no one else had ever noticed existed. 

Robert climbed into his car and took a few deep breaths. His palms were sweaty and leaned back, and laughed at himself. It was a bit odd, they'd been together ages, really. But not like this, not in the light — and they were finally home and alone. It was time to figure out who they were together, for real. 

No more lies.

No pretending it's fake. 

Just them. 

"Shit, that's scary," Robert mumbled as he started the car. 

~~~

They decided to meet there since it was within walking distance of their building. Robert had his other reasons for the location, and he was going over things in his head as he waited for Aaron to arrive. He was at their table, already ordered their pints, and was reading the menu just to occupy his mind. He was more nervous the longer Aaron took — he knew he wouldn't be stood up, he knew he was just late. He was always late, really, Robert thought with a smile. He tapped his leg and gripped the edges of the menu, trying to dispel the anxiety. It was only Aaron…

His Aaron.

He sighed and took a drink of his pint, he was trying not to down it, not wanting to be far ahead of Aaron throughout the night. That wouldn't do, but it was getting harder and harder. He needed Aaron to show up, so he could remember how to breathe. Somehow he knew the sight of him would cause that. It would lighten the depth and weight of everything he was feeling. The pressure and the need he felt to really properly woo Aaron Dingle. He swallowed the beer over a nervous lump in his throat and groaned a bit himself. 

"This is ridiculous," he muttered and started to reread the menu, but he heard the bell ring that was over the place's door, and he looked up. And nearly swallowed his tongue. Aaron caught sight of him and smiled, he smiled and started striding down the aisle between the tables toward Robert… 

Like he wasn't wearing a shirt and tie, all buttoned up and expertly knotted, and Robert felt like all the moisture in his throat was gone, and he wasn't sure if he could open his mouth to speak. Aaron looked bloody amazing, and it was going to murder him. 

Aaron sat down across from him and instantly grabbed his pint. "I'm nervous…" he admitted with a soft laugh. 

"You're…" Robert stammered.

"What?"

"I…" Robert licked his lips. "Like the tie."


	8. Chapter 8

Aaron felt his face heat the second he caught sight of Robert. It was seconds after walking into the diner. It felt like he could never lose sight of Robert, something would always pull him right into his direction. It was terrifying and comforting all at once — he wondered if he'd ever get used to the sensation. Their eyes locked, and butterflies swooped around in his stomach, and his nervousness shot upward. He'd been sure seeing Robert would settle his nerves, but it was just the opposite. Because he was sitting there, looking over dressed for the diner, they were in, in one of his shirts with the elbow patches and his hair perfectly swooped upwards. All blonde and freckled and waiting for him. Staring right at him, with want clearly written in his expression, in his eyes, and it did things to Aaron. It made him feel things that he didn't fully understand. 

Suddenly, this first date seemed more important than he'd been admitting to himself. He thought he was just going along with it for Robert because it seemed important to him. Despite that they were far past where any normal couple would be at their first date — though there was nothing normal about them, Aaron realized. His heart was pounding so hard, he could feel it in his throat and felt like he couldn't breathe. 

And Robert's intense stare wasn't helping at all, so he slid into the seat across from him and saw there was a pint waiting for him and felt a surge of gratefulness for it. He grabbed it to swallow down a bit of liquid courage and meant to say hell, but instead, the truth fell from his mouth. 

"I'm nervous…" he rolled his eyes as he ended up laughing at himself.

"You're…" Robert stammered.

"What?" Aaron asked the intensity of Robert's stare making is face heat.

"I…" Robert licked his lips. "Like the tie," he said, his voice deep… too deep, it was sex deep. It was the voice that said dirty things into Aaron's ear or whispered, I love you when they were locked together, one of them deep inside the other. Aaron felt his entire body heat and his darted around the very public area they were in…. 

He watched Robert's eyes dart to the tie, then up to Aaron's mouth, and his tongue licked his lips before he cleared his throat, shifted in his seat, and looked down at the menu in his hand. 

"Was a daft idea…" Aaron mumbled, feeling self-conscious and unsure what to do with the obvious effect his clothing choice was having on Robert. 

"No…no, it wasn't," Robert said, and his voice was still pure sex.

Aaron shifted in his seat, his entire body's reaction to it, and tried to push it down but drinking more of the pint in his hand. "So…"

Robert cleared his throat and laughed, nervous, and he took a drink of his own pint. "So…" he echoed. 

"Hello!"

They both jumped in their seats, and Aaron found himself staring at their waitress, who had braid and wore a perky smile and looked completely oblivious about what she'd interrupted. "Hi, I'm Sadie," she said to Aaron. "Ready to order?"

Aaron frowned and looked around for the menu. 

"Uh, give us a bit longer…" Robert said to her, his voice sounded scratchy like he was having trouble finding his natural tone. Aaron glanced at him, and their eyes caught, and he felt the butterflies swooping in his stomach again — he shook his head at himself because it was daft — wasn't it. They were together, had been, for a long time — even if it felt like it just happened. 

"Okie dokie…" she said as he walked away.

Their eyes met again, and they started laughing at the waitress's expense, because who said that? They laughed, and it settled something in the air between them, and Robert was grinning at him in a way that felt usual for them, and Aaron found himself relaxing — finally. He matched the smile and picked up the menu. 

"It's not fancy, just usual assortment of burgers, chips, and such…" Robert said.

Aaron nodded and fiddled with his tie. Glancing around, realizing they both overdressed, and he wondered again why he had — when Robert had chosen this so he wouldn't have too, but then he looked at Robert, again. He was gazing at Aaron, that look of intense attraction, his eyes darting to the tie and his tongue against his lower lip. Aaron blushed and shook his head. 

Robert cleared his throat. "Really, you look amazing," he said. 

"Shut up…" 

"I like it…" he said again.

Aaron nodded. "First date, right?"

"Yeah…" Robert chuckled. "I'm nervous too."

Aaron nodded.

"Is this stupid?" Robert asked.

Aaron shook his head because maybe he'd thought it was, but now that he was here, it didn't feel stupid at all… Like he wanted to give Robert this experience too, but he was struggling to remember what that experience was — all his other first dates in his life flashing through his eyes. And none of them were all that memorable. 

"Feels different…" Robert said, echoing his thoughts. 

Aaron nodded. 

"Doesn't help you're distracting me…" Robert muttered, his voice lowering again.

"Stop," Aaron laughed. 

"Sorry…well, no, not at all," Robert said.

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"Ready?" the perky waitress was back.

They ordered the same burger with chips and more beer since both of them nervously downed their first. They fell into a comfortable silence as she walked away, and Aaron wondered if it looked like they were staring at each other from the outside… But really all he felt was comfort from Robert's stare, it was a little less intense, but was always intense. Maybe it would never fade, Aaron found himself hoping it wouldn't….

A piece of him felt a jolt of terror it might. 

"How was work?" Robert asked.

Aaron shrugged. "One too many old ladies wanted their oil changed."

"Huh."

"How was yours?"

"Lots of paperwork and research, have client meetings all day tomorrow — I hate Tuesdays…" he shook his head.

"Why's that?"

"Usually, long days where I have to be polite the whole time…"

Aaron snorted. "I see the trouble."

Robert smirked at him. "Downside of being in sales…" he muttered. 

"Ever thought of doing something else?"

"This makes money, don't it?" Robert said. 

Aaron shrugged. "Lots of things make money."

"Not like this… not what I have planned out."

Aaron frowned. 

"I just… it's important," Robert repeated.

"To make money?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "You know what's like to not have it, right? It makes things… easier."

"Does it?" Aaron asked.

Something flickered in Robert's eyes in response, but it was gone before Aaron could even try to guess at what it was, and Robert was nodding again. "It matters to me…"

"Alright… mean we all need it, right?"

"Yeah…." Robert's expression shifted, and Aaron felt like his face was being studied. "What about you?"

"Me? Money? Don't give it much thought past due rent and bills…" he shrugged.

"What matters to you?"

Aaron stared at him and thought. _You._ But he knew that wasn't the question, and the second thing that popped into his head felt right, it felt true. "Family… they do my head in, but yeah, them, Adam…" he locked his gaze with Robert and hoped he knew he was included, would always be included. 

Something dark flickered in Robert's eyes for a second again, but it was gone just as quickly, and Aaron wanted to dig into it, but he didn't know how to and now wasn't the time. But he saw something else shift in Robert's eyes, and his face softened as they stared again, and Aaron found himself smiling at Robert. 

"It's complicated for me," Robert whispered.

"Family?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "It's… hard."

Aaron nodded and remembered what Robert told him about his father over Christmas, and he reached his hand across the table, and Robert curled his fingers in against Aaron's palm. Aaron nodded and smiled. "Like I said, they do my head in…" he offered.

"Understatement."

A simple silence rose up between them, and slowly their fingers interlocked, and Aaron found himself staring at their hands and how they fit together, how he felt right in Robert's grip — which felt new and odd to him, because he'd never been one for such things in the past, his wrist would get uncomfortable, he would get uncomfortable. But even when he felt off balance around Robert, it always felt right too…

~~~

He couldn't stop staring, not that he wanted too, but he was trying not to be too obvious with it, but it was impossible really because he just wanted Aaron. He wanted him, he wanted to touch him, he wanted to listen to him — it didn't matter what he said, or even if he knew Aaron didn't understand him. He'd seen it, Aaron's frown when he'd been talking about money, and he felt his own frown when Aaron been talking about family.

The truth was it all tied together for him in ways that hurt and made things complicated. There were things about his past, his father, his brother, his family, and himself that he wasn't sure he could ever share with anyone — at least until now… But everything in him still made him clam up, but the thought was there that maybe, he could share some of his darker thoughts and not so great past with Aaron…

Someday.

Because he looked into those blue eyes and felt things, he never knew before. It felt like he found a safe haven, but it was terrifying, and he didn't know yet if he could do it… let it all go? Let it out? He barely let himself think about it all, and it was uncomfortable, so he pushed aside…

But Aaron was gazing right at him with this soft look in his eyes and a bit of concern like he'd clocked the pain in Robert's expression, and he thought maybe, maybe someday. 

Just not now. 

Their irritating waitress dropped off their food, and they started to eat, comfortable silence around them, this soft stillness and their eyes kept meeting. Then kept laughing, softly and nervously, and Robert remembered why he wanted to do this, not because he wanted small talk, or whatever real first dates were — he couldn't remember any of his own, they weren't memorable. 

This was, though, he knew he'd never forget seeing Aaron walking in through the door, looking bloody beautiful and making him want to just drag him back to his bed. He felt it now, the buttoned-up black shirt, the blue tie that brought out his eyes… he felt everything itch inside him to touch him. But it could wait, it would be agonizing, but he almost wanted it to be…

Because it would be worth it. 

"How's your sister?" he asked. 

Aaron looked up from the text he was reading. It'd just come through and blinked. "How did you know it was Liv?"

"You get this look…whenever it's her."

Aaron's eyes darted away from him for a second, but they were back quickly. "She hates maths, is grounded again for failing a test…" Aaron sighed. "Wish, I could help her out, and all, but not nearby, and I'm awful at maths myself."

"Always used to like maths."

Aaron laughed. "I see it."

"What does that mean?"

"Bit of a geek aren't ya…" Aaron grinned. 

Robert laughed. "Tell me more about her?"

"Liv?"

"Yeah," he smiled. 

"She's a brilliant drawer, a right artist, it's amazing, and she's got a mouth on her…" 

"Wonder where she got that…"

"Oi," Aaron laughed. 

"She's great, really, wish she was closer, but…"

"How did she end up in Ireland?" he asked, and Aaron's expression went dark before it shut down hard, his expression going blank and impossible to read. "Aaron?"

Aaron blinked, and Robert watched him shake himself out of it. "Uh… it's a long story, but her mum thought it was best for them, and she has a good job there."

"Alright. She ever visit?"

"No, not really, I managed to get up there a few years ago… but money and such… we text and talk, and she makes me use that facetime thing now and again." 

"I used too…" Robert sighed. "Vic and I weren't in contact for a long time, and I… missed her, missed her more than I knew you could miss someone. It hurt a lot and when I finally was able… when I got back in her life, it was still hard cause I was keeping this line between us…"

"You're sexuality?"

"Well, that and other things…sometimes it's still there. But it's better since I told her…." He smiled at Aaron. "You made it better, cause I was able to tell her because of you."

"Shut up," Aaron looked away for a second.

"I mean it, though."

Aaron met his gaze and smiled. 

Robert felt smack in the chest with want. "We need to leave."

"We do?"

"Yeah…" Robert nodded and pulled out his wallet. "Cause I need to drag you by the tie and do all sorts of things to you that would get us arrested."

Aaron blushed a deep red.

Robert tossed too much money on the table, but it would be worth it. "Come on."

Aaron was on his feet before Robert finished the sentence, their hands found each other, and Robert yanked him out of the diner into the cold January air…


	9. Chapter 9

Robert held his breath as he Aaron walked down the street. They were hand in hand, their footsteps hitting the pavement in unison and with one single goal in mind. It almost felt like they were one person, and it was tripping up Robert a bit, he felt himself suddenly remember to breathe, for some reason that made him tighten his grip on Aaron's hand, and he felt Aaron nudge his shoulder in response. He glanced at him and was greeted by a perfect profile. Robert stared at the straightness of Aaron's nose, and his eyes glanced down his body and the fitted black shirt, tucked into tightly fitting black jeans and the blue tie — the ridiculously cheap and ugly blue tie Aaron was wearing that made him looked like walking perfection.

He was art.

His boyfriend was art. 

His breath was in his throat again. And he saw the park out of the corner of his eye, as he glanced at Aaron again and remembred they were meant to take a stroll around it. And maybe order some hot chocolate from the food truck that was on the other side of it — that would have to happen another time, it needed to happen another time. Robert needed to get his hands on that tie, he needed to yank Aaron into him, so they were chest to chest. He felt like he was itching with want, and the cold air was barely making a dent against his skin. 

Was their building really this far away, he could've sworn the walk down to the restaurant been shorter. He was impatient, and he needed to remember to breathe again. Aaron was gripping his hand and pulling him, and they were at the building, and Robert inhaled as they stepped inside. Aaron leading them ahead now, his steps hasty, and Robert felt relieved he wasn't alone in his impatience. 

Aaron hit the button for the lift.

Then they stood and stared at the indicator lights. 

Aaron huffed loudly with impatient. 

Robert echoed it and glanced toward the stairs. 

But then the doors opened, and Aaron dragged him inside. They both went to push the button for the floor and laughed. Aaron's hand dropping to make way for Robert's. He hit the button, and he turned to face Aaron, his hands landing on Aaron's hips, fingers toying with belt loops, and he pushed Aaron into the corner of the lift and grinned. "Do you remember?"

"Remember?"

"The first time I saw you was in here," Robert said. 

Aaron chuckled. "Yeah, I remember."

"Tried hard not to stare…"

Aaron ran his hands up Robert's chest and licked his lips. 

"Wanted you then and there."

Aaron nodded, and his eyes dropped to Robert's mouth. 

Robert wouldn't turn down a request. His hands landed on Aaron's face, stroking against the grain of his beard, and he bent down and kissed him. Aaron's hands trailing further up his chest and around his neck, one hand went to the back of Robert's neck, pulling his face down more into Aaron's own. Robert moaned and pulled Aaron's bottom lip between his own. They both sunk into it, and Robert fell right into the moment and didn't want it to stop, but then hands were shoving at his chest and broke the kiss with an annoyed groan. "What…" he muttered grumpily. 

Aaron laughed and shoved him again. "Lift door, open…" he barked. 

Robert rolled his eyes at himself and started walking backward, his hands on Aaron's hips, pulling him with him. Aaron shook his head, but he went with it, and they were out in the small hallway. Made their way down it to Robert's door, and Robert pulled out his keys. Aaron leaned against the wall by his door and watched him, his lower lip between his teeth and Robert wanted it back in his own mouth, but he got Aaron's gaze and got lost in soft blue. 

Aaron smiled.

And Robert head his lock click open and pushed opened his door and yanked Aaron inside with him. The door closed, and their mouths met, and Robert felt his shirt being yanked out his trousers as they made their way toward the bedroom. His shirt was unbuttoned by the time the back of his legs felt his bed behind him. Then he was on his back, legs wide apart, feet on the floor with Aaron's straddling him over his hips, their mouths locked, tongues sliding together. 

They moved apart on the same ragged breath, Aaron's forehead against his, and they fell into a peaceful quiet as their breaths calmed. Robert grabbed the tie and curled it around his fingers and ran a hand from Aaron's face down his chest. He felt a bit underdressed, his shirt half on and off, he felt that his belt was loose and his trouser's zipper was undone while Aaron's clothes were fully intact. But he stared up at him, all dressed up and perfection — for him. Aaron did it for him, and he felt his face flush with heat. He yanked on the tie, and Aaron's mouth was there for the taking, so he kissed him, all tongue, all passion, and all of it was met by equal force. 

"Robert…" Aaron's voice was husky, and his lips pressed against his jawline as he spoke. Robert's name over and over, and it felt like it synced up to his heartbeat. "Robert…"

"Hmm…" Robert sighed, and his hands found their way into Aaron's hair as his mouth latched around his nipple. Robert groaned and arched into it, all the while wondering how Aaron got there. He licked his lips because they still tasted like Aaron. "Aaron…" and now he was repeating his name, and Aaron looked up him, tongue flat against his nipple and his mouth when dry. 

Aaron's eyes glinted, and he popped off and rose up. Robert lurched forward, trying to keep his hands on him, but it was no use. Aaron was standing next to the bed, looking down at Robert. Robert fell back and just stared up at him and smirking at the quick rise and fall of Aaron's chest and the bulge in his jeans that was unmissable. 

"Finish getting undressed," Aaron said.

"Not going to ask nicely?" Robert teased.

"No," Aaron said as he headed for the drawer with the lube and the condoms. 

Robert sat up and kicked off his trousers and boxers, then pulled off his shirt and moved up more on the bed and turned to see Aaron drop the lube and condoms on the tabletop. Robert moved onto his knees and grabbed Aaron's hips. He looked up at him, his shirt was all rumpled, and the tie was crooked, but he still looked perfect. 

"Gonna undress me?"

"No…" Robert licked his lips, but he yanking at Aaron's belt. 

"Like it that much," Aaron asked, sounding oddly insecure as he ran his hands into Robert's hair. 

"You look perfect…" Robert couldn't lie. "Bloody beautiful."

Aaron bit his lip, and Robert started to pull down his jeans. He pressed his mouth against the fabric of Aaron's boxers, wrapping his lips around his cock through the fabric. 

"Robert…" Aaron warned and pulled at his hair. 

It just made Robert smirk into it and inhaled until the tug at his hair became too sharp to ignore, and he looked up. Aaron staring down, his eyes nearly black, and Robert licked his lips. 

"Put it on," Aaron ordered as he tossed the condom at him. 

Robert felt everything inside of him flip and settle, it was a feeling he was getting used to, it was a feeling he was craving more and more. Aaron bossing him around did things to him, and it upended him too, made him feel like he wasn't on solid ground. He clutched at his bedding with one hand as he took the condom in the other. He used his teeth to rip it open, and Aaron made a sound, and he smirked at him smugly and amused, only to groan himself as Aaron's jeans and boxers fell to the floor. 

Aaron moved onto the bed and sat on his knees, Robert underneath him, and he wrapped a lubed hand around Robert's cock. Robert's hips thrust up, and he bit his lip. "Shit… don't…"

"Don't you dare come," Aaron barked. 

Robert clutched at the bedding with both hands because it was a near thing, and that felt impossible. But when he looked at Aaron, still wearing his shirt and tie — for him, because he liked it. Because he more thank liked it, and Robert gritted his teeth and thought he got himself somewhat in control. 

Only Aaron's hand fisted tight on the base of cock, his eyes flew open, and he watched Aaron sink down on him. Robert's hands flew to Aaron's hips, and Aaron's head went back, showing off his throat, and Robert realized he could get more bloody beautiful. 

"Robert…" he moaned his name. 

"Hurry it up or…" Robert warned. 

"Yeah, yeah…" and Aaron started to move, and Robert felt his brain short circuit as he touched any part of Aaron he could reach and ended up, curved up on his elbow, his hand wrapped around Aaron's cock and matching his thrusts. And always their's eyes locked, and the world turned into just that space between them before they collapsed from the heat and intensity of it… 

And somehow Aaron burrowed into his chest with a sigh, and he fell asleep. 

~~~

Aaron woke up four times. 

The first wasn't long after he just fell into sleep brought on by the satisfaction of having his way with Robert. They both seemed to drift awake together, pressed together, aware of the sheen of sweat around them, and Robert kissed his forehead rolled out of bed and came back with a wet washcloth. Then Aaron felt himself being cared for and wrapped up under the sheets, the blanket yanked up to the shoulders as Robert pulled him back into his chest. Aaron burrowed in and inhaled the scent of him, of them, and traced a pattern of freckles and before easily slipping back into sleep. 

The second time he woke with a gasp, an unknown fear sharp in his chest and he froze still, uncomfortable and afraid for a moment before his whereabouts slowly asserted themselves. Aaron found himself safe in Robert's arms — the dream, or nightmare, fading the instant he realized his cheek was against warm skin, and his eyes could see a sea of freckles. He tightened his arms around Robert, and in his sleep, Robert burrowed into him, his nose landing in Aaron's hair and the last remnants from the unwanted, unremembered dream faded away. 

The third time was a sharp kick in his leg, that jolted him awake to find they'd shifted in their sleep and Robert's arms were wrapped around him from behind, Aaron chuckled a bit, realizing he'd been kicked. Again. He felt Robert murmur, and he wondered what he was dreaming and promised himself he really needed to start teasing him about the kicking. 

The fourth time Aaron woke up, he felt cold and quickly realized it was because he was alone. He was hugging Robert's pillow, instead of Robert and rolled his eyes a bit at himself… it felt clingy and needy. But he felt clingy and needy, he realized as he rolled onto his back to look at the clock. It was 4:30 in the morning, and he frowned and sat up to see if he was just in the bathroom…

But no, there was light streaming in from the main room of the flat. Aaron moved out of the bed, picked up a pair of boxers and jumped into them, and wandered out of the bedroom. He paused a few steps later, eyes falling on Robert, who was at his kitchen table, bent over his laptop with a file open in front of him. It looked like he was inputting numbers, but that wasn't why Aaron was staring. He was wearing a t-shirt that said Woolpack on it, so Aaron knew it was his, and his hair was all flat and in his eyes. He looked focused and intent, and Aaron was positive he was addicted to Robert's ability to intently focus on things. 

He cleared his throat, though, because he rather that focus be on him. 

"Did I wake ya?" Robert asked.

"Not exactly…" Aaron felt himself blush, and he couldn't voice it'd been the lack of Robert that had woken him up. 

"I just, I needed to get this done before I go in…. Just a bit more."

Aaron shrugged. "I'm awake now," he muttered and walked into the kitchenette and went to Robert's expensive coffee machine, which he learned to work a while ago and might before his and Adam's cheaper drip coffee. "Want some?"

"Ta, yeah…" Robert said. "So, uh… when is your birthday?" 

Aaron paused and turned to look at him.

He was holding his phone. 

"Why?"

"I oughta know it, right?" Robert said. 

"Well, yeah, when is yours?"

"April 22nd."

"January 5th." 

"Great… WHAT?"

Aaron glanced back at him and saw Robert staring at him with mouth wide open. "What?"

"That's TODAY, AARON."

Aaron blinked at him. "Is it?"

"Yeah," Robert laughed. 

"Huh…" Aaron shrugged. "It's not a big deal, I don't like a fuss…"

Robert shook his head, closed his laptop, and was in Aaron's space in seconds. "But still…" he said, his voice low, then he kissed Aaron's cheek and whispered directly into his ear. "Happy Birthday."

And Aaron couldn't stop his smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Aaron’s head hurt, and he was starting to think the world given him a migraine for his birthday. Though, really, it was Adam — Adam’s present was a migraine because Adam wouldn’t stop going on about how Aaron had to go to the pub with him and meet up with all their mates. Because it was what they did on their birthdays — and always had been, and you can’t break with tradition. Which, maybe he would have talked Aaron around with. But he also kept making digs about how Aaron had bailed out on Nick’s birthday bash and skipped a few all because he had to hook up with Robert. Adam was making it all sound dirty and casual, and like he didn’t have a good reason for choosing Robert. 

He’d been falling in love. 

His cheeks flushed at the thought, and he wondered when he turned into a trashy romance novel. And maybe it was soppy and daft, but he didn’t much care — Adam knew, he’d known all along Aaron been lying to himself, so why was he so keen on making it sound like Aaron been pulling away from his mates for nothing. 

He’d really hoped Adam might stop hating on Robert and work toward trying to accept him by now. It wasn’t too much to ask of his best mate, was it? He groaned and threw the wrench in his hand as Adam made another dig about how Aaron missed a right great dart game between him and their friend Kent. Because he’d been behind locked doors with Sugden — again. 

“Whoa, watch it…” Adam yelled as the wrench skidded to halt by his foot. 

“You watch it,” Aaron shouted. “Will you just stop, already. I get it you don’t like him — well, I do. And maybe I want to spend my birthday with him, and all…”

“But.”

“But what, Adam? Why would I want to spend it with you, and your sly comments and your hate for Robert. DO ONE…” he stomped away.

He stepped outside and swore because it was snowing again — felt like they were in an endless snowing winter. He couldn’t remember it ever snowing so much, and now he was trying to use weather to keep his mind off the problem. His best mate hated his boyfriend. His mum hated his boyfriend — but at least he didn’t have to listen to her all day, doing his head in and acting like it was looking out for him. If he still lived back in Emmerdale, though, it’d be the both of them pecking his head, with added bonuses of Katie and Paddy and the village. 

It was making Aaron’s skin crawl, and he just wanted away from it all. He was tired of people telling him what to do or how to feel. Adam wasn’t as bad as most, but there were times he seemed to try to manage Aaron’s life for him — he knew it was due to things in the past, he knew he’d made a mess a few things and he got anxious. But he could make his own choices. 

Robert was his. 

He chose him. 

Aaron’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out and smiled. It almost like Robert knew, he knew he needed to hear from him. He opened the text and snorted. 

_ R: How old are ya, anyway?_

_ A: Does it matter?_

_ R: Guess not, but you know… _

_A: Younger than you._

_ R: There are other ways I can find out._

_ A: Really? Huh? Let’s see what you can snuff out then._

_ R: Alright — so, like… you own anything that isn’t black?_

_ A: Probably _

_ R: Like… _

_ A: What are fishing for, Sugden._

_ R: Nah can’t tell ya, it’s a surprise._

_ A: I don’t want a fuss. _

Aaron smiled despite shaking his head, as he hoped Robert wasn’t planning on getting him something or making a big deal about his birthday. It wasn’t a big deal, he never really cared much for celebrating it — it wasn’t like he had great childhood memories or anything…with his mum gone and… 

He shoved that thought to the back of his head. 

It was just another day, it was no more special than the day before or after it. 

His phone went off again, but he nearly dropped it when he realized it wasn’t a text from Robert, but Liv calling him with that video thing and he fumbled with the touchscreen and breathed a sigh of relief when her face showed up, and he hadn’t hung up on her. 

“Didn’t hang up on me,” she grinned at him.

“Nah, tech-savvy, me.”

Liv snorted. “Happy Birthday.” 

Aaron shrugged. 

“What’s it like?”

“What?”

“Being ancient,” she smirked. 

“Hahahaha…” he rolled his eyes. 

“What’re you doing… Chas have something planned.”

“Nah, back in Hotten and all…”

“So pub with Adam,” she said.

Aaron bit his lip. “No, I mean, I don’t think so… might just hang out with Robert.”

“Who?”

“I told ya about him, on Christmas. You saw him, right?”

“That bloke with the big nose, that was all drunk behind ya?”

Aaron laughed, he couldn’t help it. “Yeah, uh…he’s my boyfriend.”

Liv made a face. 

“I really like him.”

She got more thoughtful. “Really?” 

Aaron nodded. 

“Alright…” 

Aaron heard Sandra shouting from somewhere behind Liv.

“That’s mum…I gotta. Luv ya,” she smiled and hung up. 

Aaron grinned a bit at the blank screen on his phone. Liv could always cheer him up, he wished he could see her more often. Felt blessed he found her after losing her for so long. It was near miracle he managed to figure out where Sandra run too…

But she’d kept Liv safe. 

“Aaron…” 

Aaron sighed, his mood plummeting at Adam’s voice. He just sighed and looked at him, daring him to say just one more thing. Adam deflated as their eyes met, and he groaned. 

“Look…”

“No,” Aaron snapped and turned to walk back inside, he really wasn’t meant to be a break. 

“Come on…” Adam followed. “You keep blowing me off for him.”

Aaron sighed. 

“You do… and we’re still mates? It’s your birthday, come on, we’ve always done something together.” 

“You’ve blown me off plenty when you’ve been seeing someone…”

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?”

Adam sighed. 

“First, you’re all on me for not getting it’s more serious than I was saying, and now you’re not taking it seriously cause it’s Robert Sugden?”

“You know, he called me out for cheating for Vic…” Adam muttered.

“You did.”

“I was a kid.”

Aaron just stared at him. “Bet that was his point, though, innit? Cause everything you and my mum keep pointing out. He was a kid.” 

Adam scowled. “What about the all the women I’ve seen in and out of that flat before you moved in, Mate.”

“When was the last woman?”

“Uh….”

“When, Ads?”

“I don’t know…” 

“You want throw stones at him, call him my mum.”

“I don’t wanna fight.”

“Me either… I’m seeing him tonight. I can look him in the eye,” Aaron snapped and turned toward the car. 

Adam sighed behind him.

Aaron kept working. 

Adam sighed louder. 

Aaron rolled his eyes and turned back to him.

“Fine. Invite him.”

“What?”

“Invite him, okay. To the pub.”

Aaron frowned. 

“And don’t say it’s too soon to meet your friends, it’s been forever… right? Six months or something. Already bailed out on them for him more than once. Let us meet him, get to know him.”

Aaron scoffed.

“I’ll try,” Adam said. 

Aaron scowled.

“I will.”

“Only if he says yes,” Aaron muttered and went back to the engine. 

~~~

“Robert?”

“Yeah, in here…” Robert called from his bedroom as he hurriedly finished stuffing Aaron’s presents into a gift bag, hiding everything with black tissue paper. He smirked as he turned, holding it out as Aaron stepped into the bedroom. 

“I told ya…” Aaron muttered, but he was smiling. 

Robert shrugged and handed him the gift bag.

“It’s black,” Aaron noted as he seemed to check it’s weight. 

“Yeah, well, saw it thought, that suits him.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and walked into the room and dropped the bag on the bed. “I really meant it, I don’t like a fuss…

Robert grabbed him by the waist and yanked him into him. “What if I want to fuss?”

Aaron blushed and looked away. 

“Aren’t you gonna open it?”

“Maybe,” Aaron muttered, but he shook his head before ducking into Robert and putting his forehead on his shoulder. Robert felt him slump into him, and he frowned and wrapped his arms around him tighter. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Aaron mumbled.

“Liar,” Robert ran a hand up and down his back. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, really… just Adam…”

“Hates me?” 

Aaron sighed. 

“I can take it.”

“Maybe I can’t?” Aaron bit his lip. 

Robert felt knocked sideways because all his life, it always felt like he was left to deal with it on his own, suck it up and accept that people saw him the way they saw him. There was nothing he could do about it… He wouldn’t ever meet the right criteria. Vic was better than most, but sometimes she did it too, the whole family did it. Followed Jack’s lead… even with him gone. Robert swallowed and reached behind him. 

“Open it…” he whispered. 

Aaron nodded and took it. He started pulling out the black tissue, rolling his eyes at it, and then frowned. “Purple?”

“You need color in your life, Aaron.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and pulled at what was purple fabric. It grinned as he saw it was a hoodie, but then frowned when something else solid and small fell to the floor. 

Robert held his breath as Aaron dropped the bag on the bed and bent down and picked up it up. He stood up, holding it in his hands and stared at it and at Robert.

“You should be able to come and go as you please, yeah?” Robert asked. 

Aaron nodded and flipped the keychain in his hands, giving it an odd look before his quintessential scowl formed on his face. “It’s a face…”

Robert felt smug, because yeah he’d gotten the face he wanted. He’d gotten the face that made him pick the keychain. “It’s a scowling emoji… couldn’t help but think of you.”

Aaron’s scowl deepened, but it started to upturn at the corners of his mouth a second later. 

“Like it?” Robert asked, heart beating, slightly unsure if he was pushing it with the key. 

“Yeah…” Aaron bit his lip and shoved the key into his pocket. He grabbed the hoodie and nodded. “I better go try this on.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” Aaron walked toward the bathroom.

“What are you doing, just…” Robert grabbed his arm.

“Nah, full fashion show, yeah,” Aaron said with a bit of an eye roll.

Robert chuckled deeply. “Didn’t know you were a secret ham.”

“Rubbing off, you are…”

“I rather a striptease.”

“I’m the birthday boy,” Aaron winked. 

“That you are,” Robert said and bit his bottom lip.

Aaron swore, stepped forward and shoved Robert. “Stay. Try to behave. I’m trying this on…” he closed the door to the bathroom in his face. 

Robert sighed and sat on the foot of his bed and fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt. He felt nervous for reasons he couldn’t understand. The presents had gone over well, better than he was hoping. He’d been afraid to push too hard, but they’d both felt right. Felt like them, and it really wasn’t with a lot of fuss. He inhaled and realized he’d been more afraid of the key than he’d let himself dwell on — then there was Aaron being upset on his behalf, with Adam. He started to bounce his leg as he waited for Aaron. 

“How long does it take…” he started to shout when the door opened. 

Aaron shrugged as he stepped out. “Feel all daft now…” he rolled his eyes. 

Robert grinned, though, feeling smug again. Yeah, purple was Aaron’s color, better than black, less obvious than blue. He stepped up and grabbed the strings from the hood, and pulled Aaron into him. “Brings out your eyes,” he mumbled, feeling stupid. 

Aaron laughed.

“Happy Birthday.”

“You’ve already said…”

“Yeah, but I want it to be a good one.”

Aaron blinked, looked away, and cleared his throat. “So, uh… Adam.”

Robert frowned. 

“He, um, well us and our mates, just a few blokes have this thing….”

“Thing?”

“Get pints on our birthdays, play darts…”

“Ok,” he frowned, feeling disappointed. “So, you’re gonna go, that’s alright.”

“Is it?” Aaron asked.

Robert sighed and shook his head. “No. But, I mean it’s your mates and all, not gonna like…” he faltered. “I don’t know. I thought we could…”

“What?”

“I was going to cook if you wanted… and rented some movies.” 

“Yeah,” Aaron grinned.

“But, if you rather..”

“No, I wouldn’t rather…” Aaron muttered. “But, Adam said… I could bring ya.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“They bring their dates?”

“Sometimes… depends….” Aaron sighed. “I don’t want to really, but…”

“But,” Robert caught Aaron’s gaze, cause he was biting his lip in a way that told him, something important was happening. “Aaron?”

“Adam said he’d try… you know with you?”

“Oh,” Robert nodded. 

“So…” Aaron sighed. “You know what, neither us wants too so…” Aaron started to pull away from him, going for his phone. 

“Hey, hey…” Robert spun him back around to face him. “Hey? You do want me and him to get along?”

Aaron nodded.

“I’m not…” Robert sighed because he wasn’t sure it was possible, but… 

“It’s not…”

“It matters to ya?”

Aaron sighed and nodded.

“Then, we’ll go.”

Aaron blinked. 

“We have to leave right away, though?” Robert asked. 

Aaron shook his head. “Got an hour to kill.”

“Good,” Robert grabbed the hem of the hoodie and yanked it over Aaron’s head. “Cause, I have one more present for ya.”

“That’s not smooth,” Aaron laughed.

Robert kissed him and pushed him down onto the bed. “It’s totally smooth.”

Aaron leaned up on his elbows, shook his head, but then he was leaning forward and unbuckling Robert’s belt. “I think there was a mention of a striptease…” his eyes were playful.

Robert felt himself blush, but he did like Aaron’s eyes on him. “Alright, birthday boy.” 

Aaron licked his lips and wiggled himself up the bed, leaning against the pillows. His stare intense, and Robert felt himself fall into it and felt his breath calm down and his confidence rise — maybe it was a bit ridiculous and all, but if made Aaron…

Aaron smiled at him. 

_Yeah. Worth it. _


	11. Chapter 11

Aaron couldn't catch his breath, he felt tears at the corners of his eyes, and his mouth just kept going wide on him in a smile. All because Robert was the worst dancer he'd ever seen in his life — and he'd seen Paddy thrashing about a dance floor. He heard himself guffaw as he was watched Robert shimmy about as he unbuttoned his shirt. His laughter was a loud bark he hadn't known he was capable of, and more just followed it. Robert shook his head but kept going, anyway look unashamed, and Aaron gulped for some air. His eyes falling on the span of skin he could see as Robert made his way down the row of buttons. Smooth, freckled, skin, and muscle tone, and Aaron felt arousal join the laughter, and he moved onto his knees and walked down the bed a bit. 

"Yeah, like that?" Robert said as he started to shake his arms out, with the same ridiculous shimmying. 

"No," Aaron laughed. "You're godawful, mate… you'd be laughed out of a strip club."

"I'm an amazing dancer," Robert winked and freed his right arm then Aaron's eyes fell on his biceps, and his forearms and he bit his lip, though it was after another giggle of some kind left his mouth. 

"You're really not," Aaron grinned and reached out and grabbed Robert by his belt buckle. It was already undone, though it remained slotted round his waist, his jeans still fastened. He was losing patience. 

"Hey, your striptease isn't even half done…" Robert whined as he pulled his shirt off the rest of the way. 

"Decided to save you from yourself and unwrap you instead," Aaron laughed. 

"Oh, yeah… that what you want?"

Aaron leaned forward, kissed Robert square on his chest, and looked up at him.

"Shit…" Robert bent down and kissed him. 

One last mad giggle fell into Robert's mouth, but then there was nothing but wet heat and tongue. Aaron yanked at the belt and started unzipping Robert's jeans, as Robert was pushing into him, pushing him down onto the bed. Then he was under him and felt hands grabbing at his own jeans, he felt fabric against his legs as it was yanked off of him, along with his boxers and he was naked and under Robert….

A favorite place to be, he thought as he started shoving at Robert's jeans, but instead his hands slipped under the denim and around his arse and grabbed hold of it and pushed his tongue more deeply into Robert's mouth. Robert made a noise, and then he was pulling back. Aaron grabbed at his wrists, just because they were what he managed to grab hold of his whimpered for Robert to stay.

"Just let me…" he muttered as he got himself out of jeans, nearly toppling himself over onto the floor, and Aaron burst out laughing again and Robert grinned at him he pounced back onto the bed. 

"Aaron…" he smiled, his palm flat against Aaron's cheek. "Wow."

"What?" Aaron blushed. 

"You're brilliant," Robert said, voice deep, and he was kissing him again, and everything seemed to slow down. They kissed and touched and wrapped around each other. Aaron felt lost in it, and he wanted to both slow it down and speed it up. Slow it down because it felt like too much and speed it up because it all felt too chaste… Despite them being a tangle of naked limbs. He felt too close and not close enough. 

"Me or you?" Robert's voice felt like it was in his head. 

Aaron turned toward him and kissed him, his brain and body both too buzzy for words or thoughts. 

Robert huffed out a laugh when, after two long deep kisses, they broke apart, and he ground Aaron down into the mattress a bit, their cocks brushing, and he spoke into his ear again. "Me or you, birthday boy?"

"Oh…" Aaron stared into green eyes. "Me." 

"Good," Robert's grin was nearly feral and made Aaron's insides dip, and he lunged up to kiss him again, before he moved for the condom, for the lube, because he didn't really feel like he was done with the snogging part yet. 

"Hmm…" Robert hummed into the kiss and twisted them until suddenly Aaron was on top, they were precariously close to the edge of the bed, and Robert was reaching with his long arm and yanking at the drawer. 

Aaron laughed again and buried his face into Robert's neck. 

Robert's hand ran up his neck and over the back of his head. Then he was rolling them back into the safer part of the bed, putting Aaron under him again. Aaron hitched a leg over his hip and grabbed his face, kissing him again. 

"Aaron…" Robert whined. 

"Yeah, hurry," Aaron barked suddenly impatient. 

"Fuck…" Robert pressed kisses down his body and wrapped his mouth around Aaron's cock. 

Aaron groaned, hands into Robert's hair, tugging on it harder and harder as one, then more fingers found their way into him. All while Robert did things with his tongue, Aaron thought might be magic. He felt restless and hot and giggly… 

"Stop laughing," Robert huffed as he popped off his dick.

"Your dancing…" Aaron guffawed again. 

"I hate you," Robert laughed, but he was over Aaron again. 

"Just fuck me."

Robert thrust in. 

Aaron saw a million stars. 

~~~

BANG

BANG

BANG

Robert jolted awake, and Aaron flew off him and onto the floor. 

"Ow, fuck…"

Robert winced and turned to look down at Aaron. "Sorry…."

Aaron grimaced and stood up. 

BANG

BANG

BANG.

"That's Ads…" Aaron mumbled.

"Shit, we fell asleep…" Robert laughed. 

Aaron rolled his eyes and started to look for clothes. He picked up a pair of boxers.

"Those are mine."

Aaron looked at them and then at him. "So, they are…" and hopped in. "Start getting ready, I'll tell him we'll meet them there…."

"No…" Robert shook his head and rolled off the bed and picked up his jeans, and just jumped into them. "I'll tell him that you turn on the shower."

"We don't have time…"

"We'll just have to try to behave," Robert winked at him.

Aaron laughed.

Robert sighed and ran his hands through his hair, it felt like it was going in every direction imaginable. Not surprising given the way Aaron kept grabbing on it. He'd been thinking about getting it cut, but now he might put it off a bit longer. He bit his bottom lip and opened the door to his flat. 

Adam's hand nearly hit his nose.

"Oi."

"Aaron…. you're not Aaron," Adam said.

"No. I'm not."

"He coming or not?" Adam snapped.

"We both are, just we'll meet you there."

Adam looked him up and down. "Why don't I just wait to make sure you don't get sidetracked."

"Don't think so," Robert rolled his eyes. "We'll meet you there, alright." 

Adam sighed. 

"Look… he wants us to get along, so we're gonna try, right?" Robert asked this was the whole reason he wanted to answer the door. Adam wasn't making it easy.

"He talked you into it?" Adam asked. 

"Don't have to look so shocked, and I think I talked him into it, actually. Could tell it was important to him, even if he wasn't saying it…" Robert sighed. "Look, I get your impression of me is…"

"Yeah, well, it is what is is, but as Aaron keeps pointed out, we were all dumbass kids."

_Some of us more than others,_ Robert thought, thinking about himself. 

"Good. So, don't worry. We'll be there," Robert said. "First round is on you."

"Alright, fine, you got it…" Adam said. 

Robert shut the door. 

He walked back toward his room and smiled at hearing the water running. He stepped back out of his jeans, into the bathroom and opened the door to a soapy Aaron. "Fuck…"

"We're just getting clean," Aaron said but smirked. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, it's your birthday."


	12. Chapter 12

Robert was hot, the pub was crowded, and Aaron was in the middle of his mates as they crowded around the dartboard. People were trying to win it away from their control, but they kept failing, and Adam kept shouting about their lucky streak. He felt on the outside, which wasn't a new feeling really but one he usually didn't feel around strangers. They'd all been nice, of course, shaking his hand and shouting their names. Not that he remembered them, not that he thought it really mattered. He kept thinking there was time, and if these people were important to Aaron, he'd meet them again. 

Hopefully, in a better location. He's already taken off his leather jacket, but he was wishing he could take off his jumper. His eyes fell on Aaron, who was wearing the purple hoodie Robert had brought him — and Robert felt pleased with himself because he looked amazing in it. His eyes bright and blue, even in the dim lighting of the pub. He hoped Aaron wasn't sweltering underneath it, though he seemed quite happy. Laughing and chatting about things Robert couldn't follow. The group of them having a mate shorthand and repeated stories and jokes. 

It would take more than one meeting to butt into that, he thought. But he was willing, he was really willing to keep coming and keep trying. He watched Aaron with his mates, and he looked happy, a bit drunk, and he was laughing. And it was a new sound to Robert, it was different than the laugh he knew and couldn't help comparing, he couldn't help but love the fact he got his own laugh. One with snorts out of Aaron's nose, one where he sounded giddier and younger than he was… 

That was Robert's laugh, and he felt special for it, felt special for being the man who was with Aaron. It dawned on him then, suddenly, he was in a pub and telling people he was Aaron's boyfriend without a thought — he blinked and wondered how he'd come so far, so fast, and barely even felt it. It was just there, a fact, but more than that. He was proud to be Aaron's boyfriend, proud and happy, and he knew he was fucking lucky. 

He was the luckiest guy in the room. 

"Your turn, Sugden," Adam bumped into his shoulder.

"What?"

"Your round of drinks is up," he said and started toward the bar.

He nodded and followed Adam. Adam wasn't like the other blokes tonight. Adam was _the_ mate, the important friendship. He was more like Aaron's brother — someone he'd chosen to be his family. Robert felt a bit daunted by it, and a bit stuck in a bad place with Adam. Because Adam was from Emmerdale and knew his shady past and how he'd hurt every woman he dated. Adam had seen a lot of women walking in and out of his flat since he moved in across from him. 

That was only because he was hiding who he was, from himself still, from the world, he just never took the guys home. That was too real, he wasn't facing it yet — he laughed now because he'd practically yanked Aaron into his flat… 

There just been something about him, Robert glanced behind him and sought Aaron out. He was aiming a dart, all focus and looking fucking adorable. His heart lurched, and he remembered feeling something similar in the elevator the day they met…

"Money?" Adam was yanking on his hand and jerking his head toward the bartender. 

Robert rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. He gave her enough to cover the drinks and a generous tip. She grinned at him widely for it before turning around to get the pints. 

"Always charming the ladies…" Adam cracked. 

And there it was his unforgivable past and really how many conversations could they have about it? He told himself he would try with Adam, no matter how hard it was…. He hoped he could pull it off. 

"Good tips mean good service."

"You good at darts?" Adam asked. 

"No," Robert muttered."Better at billiards."

"Pool you mean?"

"Whatever you want to call it," Robert said. 

"So, why are you here? Couldn't just let him see his mates?"

Robert scoffed. "Seriously?"

"What? I mean, you've got him taking off early if he does show up, or just never showing up at all for months now. Suddenly, now you've gotta be here too?"

"It's not like…. Whatever it is, you're making it sound like."

"Controlling."

Robert rolled his eyes. "I wanted to come because I wanted to meet his mates."

Adam shook his head. 

"Fine, whatever," Robert sighed. "It's his birthday, he's my boyfriend, and he looked upset about not seeing his mates. So I said we'd come… want to twist that to something fine, go ahead. But I'm not going anywhere, Adam… so get used to it." Robert reached forward and grabbed four of the pints, leaving the rest for Adam to grab. 

When he turned around, Aaron was watching the two fo them, chewing his bottom lip. Worrying and Robert tried to school his features, and he shot him a bright smile and a wink. Aaron grinned back, but his eyes darted to Adam. Robert shrugged, not wanting to lie, and Aaron nodded. Then one of his friends said something, and Robert felt disappointed at the sight of the back of his head. He liked looking at Aaron's face. 

He got back to their area in front of the dartboard. Everyone grabbed their drinks, and a few thanked him for buying. Aaron stepped toward him, took their two pints left in his hands, and put them down. So, he stepped into Robert's space and nudged his shoulder against his chest. Robert grinned and slipped his arm around his waist and pulled Aaron in. Aaron looked like he wanted to protest it, for all of a second, then he leaned into Robert. 

Robert thought it felt perfect.

~~~

Adam was talking nonstop, basically recapping their night out, like Aaron and Robert hadn't been there the entire time. Though he was saying a thing or two, Aaron hadn't realized happened. But the pub had been crowded and he'd barely been able to hear himself think the whole night. He'd mostly just enjoyed seeing his mates, it had been a long time really, and he knew he couldn't hide away with Robert for the rest of his life. 

Tempting as it was, he thought, and he glanced at his and Robert's hands. Held tight together, and he thought about how he'd let Robert pull him by his waist, or with an arm around his shoulders, tucking Aaron into his body. He was never big on public displays, but somehow it all felt okay. It'd felt right, and Robert never pushed for more…

It was like he knew, though they'd never talked about it. 

And now they were holding hands, as they made their way home and he felt like maybe he should be blushing if he wasn't already, but he didn't want to let go. He didn't want to let go at all, and he walked into Robert suddenly and frowned. 

Then he realized they were home. And he stood sort of between Robert and Adam, who were both opening doors and Adam was looking at him. "Coming in?" he asked. 

"What?"

"You know, your home…" Adam laughed, but there was something in eyes, and Aaron realized he knew it was a dumb question. 

"Uh, no…" he said and heard Robert's lock click open. "I'll see ya at work."

"Right, yeah, work…" Adam muttered and walked into his flat. 

Aaron sighed and felt Robert pull him inside, and the door closed. Robert squeezed his hand, and Aaron looked at them still linked together and up at Robert. 

"If you want to go over there…" Robert muttered.

"I don't," Aaron shook his head. "At all."

"Good," Robert grinned and pushed Aaron against the closed door. "Because I've been waiting hours to do this." His hands framed Aaron's face, then his mouth was on his and Aaron grabbed at Robert's jumper, yanking the fabric to pull him closer, pushing his hands underneath his jacket, trying to push it off, as Robert started kissing the side of his neck, finding that one spot, he always seemed to land on right away that made Aaron feel like his entire body wanted to flip inside on itself. 

"Rob…"

"I know," Robert breathed, and he dropped to his knees. "One more present for the birthday boy."

Aaron bit his lip. "Not my birthday anymore."

"Still gonna give it to ya," Robert winked as he pulled off Aaron's belt. 

Aaron nodded and threaded his fingers into Robert's hair and felt like he could look at the sight of him on his knees like this for him, forever… And it wasn't a scary thought at all. 

Not at all. 

~~~

Aaron woke up hugging Robert's pillow a few hours later, his head heavy from two too many pints, and his whole body felt sluggish. He wanted just to drift off right back to sleep, but Robert was missing, and his pillow just wasn't going to do, it wasn't his skin and all the freckles that came with it. It lacked his strong arms wrapped around Aaron's waist or his shoulders. Suddenly, he was just wide awake. 

He got off the bed and grabbed a pair of Robert's sweats to pull on, they dropped down his hips a bit too much as he walked out of the bedroom, but he was too tired to care. He found Robert at the kitchen table, his laptop open and files around him, and he chewed on his bottom lip. 

Robert looked up from the piece of paper he was reading and frowned. "I didn't wake ya, did I?"

"Not exactly," Aaron said. "Come back to bed."

"I need to do this," Robert said. 

"What is it?"

"Work, homework kinda, and some digital filing... I told you, I'm trying to be on track for that promotion."

"Thought that deal you lost ruined your shot?"

"Lost it, can earn it back…I want that promotion."

Aaron nodded.

"Go back to bed, you look shattered."

'I'm hungover, why aren't you?"

"I drank less than you," Robert laughed. "Knew I was going to do this."

Aaron rolled his eyes and went to the sink and filled the kettle. "I'm gonna have a brew want one?"

"Sure."

"Might make myself some eggs and bacon?"

"Alright," Robert said. 

"Want some?"

Robert looked up at him. "Yeah."

"You sure, my cooking isn't as good as yours."

"I trust ya," Robert smiled. 

Aaron grinned and opened the refrigerator. As he took out the fixings for a fry up, realizing Robert had enough food for a full english, he glanced back over at him bent over the laptop. His hair on end and in a well-worn blue robe, he felt something settle in his chest. 

It was the word forever again. 

Robert glanced over at him and caught him looking.

They smiled. 

"Don't tempt me," Robert scolded. 

"Not doing anything."

"Like you have to," Robert laughed. "I've gotta do this," he muttered and went back to his work. 

"Maybe after we eat," Aaron laughed.

~~~

The man was dead, he'd cut his wrists too deeply and been found too late for them do anything about it and the phone he'd been clutching his hands and wouldn't let go of, started to make a beeping noise in his hand. The nurse sighed and went up and pulled the phone free to shut it up. 

A contact number for an Aaron appeared. 

"Looks like this guy's name was Gordon Livesay," her fellow nurse said. "I'll start up the paperwork and call the police."

The other nurse nodded and looked a the contact. "Should I call this number?"

"Could be family, that makes things simpler for us."

"Not for the family…." She sighed, but she dialed it. It went right to voicemail, and she didn't dare live a message. She'd let the cops deal with it then. Whoever this Aaron was his new year staring with bad news.


	13. Chapter 13

It wasn't a big deal, not really, Aaron thought, but he was pausing. He held his scowling emoji keychain in his hands. It was bright yellow and seemed to glow in the dim light of the hall. He'd moved all his keys to it, but the one he wanted to use now was in his hand. The key to Robert's flat. It wasn't a big deal, he thought again, but he couldn't help but like the feeling. That he could walk in and out of Robert's flat whenever he wanted, that he could go inside and wait for him. 

He had a bag slung over his shoulder, full of clothes and toiletries, and he knew they hadn't talked about that, but it just made sense Aaron had some things at Robert's. He was there most of the time. He bit his lip and tried to shove a bit of the emotion spilling through him off a bit. It was just key, it was just a flat…

His boyfriend's flat. 

He stuck the key in and turned it and heard it click. Then he pushed the door open and walked inside and shook his head. His and Adam's place was a mess, but Robert's always looked immaculate… And more lived-in than Aaron realized his first few glimpses. He saw the paperbacked books by the couch now, and DVDs were on the shelf the television was perched on. He knew there were their breakfast plates in the sink, but he saw the frying pan he'd left on the stove been moved. 

Aaron smiled and walked through and into the bedroom and the perfectly made bed — but there were books on the nightstands, the old alarm clock Robert preferred to use instead of his phone. And Aaron saw his own clothes sticking out of the laundry hamper Robert kept just outside the bathroom. He frowned and wondered about that — 

Should he let Robert do his laundry? Probably end up cleaner, he thought wryly and shook his head. He laughed at the question a bit, and he was kind of liking that it was a question. It was domestic, though, and he thought maybe that should frighten him. But it didn't… no every time he tripped over things that came with a relationship that was going somewhere instead of nowhere…

All he could do was smile. 

It was nice. 

He dropped his bag of clothes on the bed, no knowing where to unpack them yet, and dug out his toiletries. The electric razor he used to groom his beard, toothbrush, and his own shampoos and soaps. Not that he minded smiling like Robert all day, but Adam wouldn't let up teasing him about the fancy smell. Though, he thought it was more about the fancy boyfriend than the fancy smell… 

He really hoped Adam would calm down soon because his mum wasn't going too, but at least she was in Emmerdale. Adam was right under his nose. He walked into the bathroom and put his toothbrush in the holder. Next to Robert's and ended up staring at it for a bit. 

"It's a toothbrush," he mumbled to himself. Then he put his razor by where Robert had his own and stuck the shampoo and soap in the shower and then looked at his grease-filled fingertips and decided it was time for a shower. He turned it on and climbed it. 

He used Robert's fancy soap and shampoo. 

~~~

_Aaron: Curry just got delivered. I'll leave it til you get here._

Robert groaned as he glanced at his phone, then at the traffic ahead of him. He tapped his left foot on the floor as his right rested impatiently on the brakes. It was weird wanting to get home when he thought about it. It used to be just the place where he did more work, and sure sometimes he used a day or two locked away inside his flat to decompress. 

But he never thought about as a home. 

Only now he knew Aaron was knocking about inside of the flat and ordering them takeaway and felt a bit annoyed he couldn't cook them dinner, but he'd worked late and hated every single second after five o'clock. He glanced at the time now and it was getting 7. 

He reached for his cell to tell Aaron about the traffic, but of course, it started to move then, so he tossed it on the passenger seat and drove forward, feeling relief at the speed traffic was moving. He'd be home in twenty minutes or less if it kept up. 

Still felt like too long. 

He grabbed his cell when he got trapped behind a red light and typed a quick message. _If traffic holds, be there in ten or so._

_Aaron: Alright. X. _

He grinned at the x like a fool. 

Then drove faster than he should the rest of the way. 

The elevator felt slower than usual, and if hadn't been how they'd met, Robert was sure he'd be cursing it. It landed on his floor, finally and he hurried out of the elevator and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Chas sitting on the floor outside Adam and Aaron's flat. 

She stood up at the sight of him and glared at him. "Well, where is he?"

"What're you doing here?"

"Where is Aaron? He's not answering his door, thought he might be with ya…" she looked behind him. "I'm assuming you know where he is, or have you cheated on him already?"

Robert rolled his eyes. "He's inside."

"No, he's not been knocking. No one is there."

"My flat, he's inside mine," Robert muttered and walked to his door. He took out his keys and mumbled a lot of curses under his breath. His first time coming back to Aaron in his place and Chas was ruining it. He gritted his teeth and opened the door. 

His eyes went wide at the sight of Aaron naked on the couch, stroking himself waiting for him, and he squawked, stepped backward and shut the door and yelled. "Your mum is here." 

"What," he heard Aaron yell in a panic. 

"Yeah, uh, your mum is here," Robert yelled again and let out a breath of disappointment. Because that was a sight, he liked to see, and it would've been the perfect welcome home… 

"What is going on? Why aren't we going in?" Chas was behind him. "AARON," she yelled through the door. "Open the door now."

"GIVE ME A MINUTE MUM…" Aaron shouted. 

Robert just shook his head. 

About a minute later, Aaron opened the door, red-faced but dressed in his usual jeans and a hoodie. Robert smiled a bit that it was the purple one, and Chas just barged into the flat. 

"Yeah, Chas, sure, come on in," he muttered as he followed her in. 

"Mum, what are you doing here?"

"It's your birthday," she said. 

"No, yesterday was…"

"Well, of course, but you kept putting off my calls, and I decided I wanted to see ya," she said, and she pulled something out of her purse. A box wrapped in silver. "Happy Birthday… did you know it was his birthday."

"Mum."

"Well, you two just met and all, sometimes these things don't come up."

"He told me in time for me to treat him," Robert said and winked at Aaron. 

Aaron blushed but grinned back at him. 

"Oh," Chas muttered. 

Robert sighed and dropped his laptop and briefcase down on the couch. "I'm just gonna go change.." He muttered and walked into this bedroom. 

"Did you have a good day then, Aaron?" he heard Chas ask. 

Robert started undoing his tie as he walked in, but his eyes fell to the bag on the bed. He walked over to it and saw at least four different black hoodies falling out of it and grinned. Stepping closer, he pulled it all, boxers and socks, and a few t-shirts and track bottoms. He turned to his closet and started shoving some things to the back of it and found enough hangers and hung up the hoodies. Then he emptied out the drawer that he just shoved miscellaneous items into and put in the boxers, t-shirts and track bottoms. 

He smiled at it all being done and dusted. Aaron was home, he thought, and he shook himself a bit. It was really too soon for him to be moving in, but he was over a lot, he would be over a lot, and this was…

It felt good, really good, and if he came home to more naked Aaron, he'd be happy. As long as he actually got to enjoy it on all other occasions. He sighed with disappointment and headed for the bathroom. Immediately his eye falling on the toothbrush, and he grinned again. 

He heard the door to the bedroom and popped out of the bathroom. Aaron's entire body was a guilty expression. "She's staying for curry — I did order too much…"

"It's alright."

"No," Aaron shook his head. "No, it's not."

"I can start charming her," Robert smiled and walked closer. 

Aaron laughed. "Good luck there, mate."

"I can charm anyone, even her," Robert smiled. 

Aaron glanced at the bed. "Where's…"

"Closet and third drawer on the top."

"Yeah? Just like that?" Aaron said. "I know we didn't discuss…"

Robert yanked Aaron so their chests collided, and he kissed his cheek. "What's to discuss?"

Aaron nodded and kissed him softly.

"I liked my surprise," Robert whispered against his mouth. 

"Got ruined."

"We can recreate it."

Aaron brushed their lips together again. 

"AARON…" Chas yelled. "This curry is getting cold."

"I like it cold," Robert yelled out. 

Aaron laughed into his shoulder. 

~~~

Walter Swift sighed as he ended another dead-end phone call. It seemed his client Gordon Livesy's relatives all moved or changed their numbers. Sandra Livesy and her daughter Olivia were nowhere to be found. And no one seemed to even know who Aaron Livesy was at the number that he'd been given for him. 

His only other lead was the name Chasity Dingle, but it didn't have an address or phone number attached at all. He was going to have to call in a private detective and waste time. But it was his job to deliver the bad news, apparently, along with the will. It was a substantial amount of money. He was quite sure once the relatives were found, after the blow about the death, they might be quite happy with their inheritances.


	14. Chapter 14

The scratch of stubble and softness of lips woke Robert, and he hummed liking it and settled deeper into his pillow. Aaron continued to kiss down his back against his spine. A smile formed on his face before he could open his eyes. Aaron had put on a light, but Robert could tell it was still nighttime — not that he cared, really, not with Aaron now pressing kisses against his lower back. He hugged the pillow and tried to talk. 

"Aaron…" was all that made past his lips as hands dragged down his boxers. 

"Shh.." Aaron whispered against his skin. 

"Yeah, alright…" he mumbled. 

He heard a soft chuckle and pulled at the fabric, hands on the swell of his arse and Aaron's breath on his skin, followed by the perfect scratch of his beard and his eyes closed. But soon, he groaned impatiently as Aaron took his time getting where Robert wanted him. "Aaron, please…"

"Please what?" Aaron sounded cocky, and he teased him with his tongue, so close, but not there. 

"Come on…" Robert whined as he continued to tease him, hand stroking up Robert's spine. "Please…Aaron…"

"This?" Aaron whispered as he felt tongue where he needed it to be, and he sighed in relief against the pillow. For a second, because then Aaron was relentless and Robert spread his legs, arched into it, rocked his hips to get friction of his cock against the mattress. 

"Fuck…" he bit at the fabric of his pillow and tried to move a bit more, to touch himself, but Aaron's hand pressed on his lower back, keeping him in place. And just made him feel hotter and flushed, and no one else ever made him want it like this. "Aaron…" he whined and wasn't even sure what he was begging more. "Aaron…"

Aaron made a sound from his chest that was dark and lustful. Then Robert felt a sudden rush of cold as Aaron's warmth left him, and he nearly cried. He started to roll over to, just to find Aaron and see him — realizing he hadn't seen him once since this started, his head buried in his pillow. 

"Nuh-uh," Aaron pressed a kiss at the base of his neck. "Stay put."

"Shit…" he mumbled at the order. 

"Hmm…" Aaron hummed.

Robert's hips jerked as he felt his tongue again and hands on his hips. He sighed into it but soon was whimpering and begging for more and for Aaron to hurry — despite not all being sure he wanted it to end at all. But he sighed, something satisfying shifting under his skin as he felt a lubed finger push into him, and he moved into it and might have murmured a thank you. 

"Shit…" Aaron cursed and added another finger, curling deep into Robert, as he fucked himself back. "Robert…'

"Yes…" he muttered, but after a while, he couldn't take it all anymore. "Fuck me, already, please."

"Yes," Aaron said his voice oddly soft, and Robert heard a condom being opened and movement. Then his hips were yanked up, and he moved up onto his knees, still leaning down into the pillow, wondering how the hell he wasn't gonna collapse back onto the bed, but Aaron's hands were strong on him, and then he was in him, so fast and hard, they both whimpered. 

"Fuck," Aaron groaned and placed a soft kiss at the base of his neck again. 

"Yeah, get on with it," Robert said trying for cocky, but he knew it sounded like begging, and he may have whined once Aaron started thrusting, and his hand found his own cock, with Aaron's hand soon there as well. Then it was all skin, sweat, and perfect friction. It felt like forever and like just seconds, and Robert was sure he made a new sound as he came, saying Aaron's name surrounded by a string of curses. 

He collapsed into the bed, his head buried in the pillow and Aaron on top of him. All wrapped around him, then they shifted into spooning, Aaron maneuvering out and tossing the condom with as little distance as he could manage before wrapping around Robert from behind again. Robert felt both bone-deep satisfaction and like his heart was racing, his mind trying to process the rush of pleasant sensations that seemed to all happen at once. 

"Just to put it on record, you can wake me up like that anytime," he huffed out after a bit. 

Soft laughter brushed against his skin, followed by Aaron's lips. "Maybe."

Robert shook his head. 

"Had to make up for earlier, though, didn't I," Aaron murmured. 

"Hmm… maybe later we can try me finding you naked when I get home thing again?"

"Wouldn't be a surprise, then would it?"

"Just don't tell me when," Robert sighed. 

"Maybe," Aaron said into his neck. 

"I love you," Robert said as he felt sleep pulling him under again. 

"Yeah, same," Aaron's lips were on his neck. 

~~~

"It's not funny, she scared the shit out of me this morning," Adam moaned. 

Aaron just laughed.

"I hear all this banging in the kitchen and all… could have warned me she was sleeping in your room, mate."

"I sent ya a text."

"It said, Mum's here… that's all, what did that even mean Aaron?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"Seriously, in the flat would've been a nice heads up. Why couldn't she have stayed at Robert's?"

"Cause his spare room doesn't have a bed, and my room over at yours was empty."

"Yours?" Adam's voice went sharp.

Aaron looked up from the engine he was working on. "What?"

"Yours? You called OUR Flat, yours… as in just mine?"

Aaron felt his cheeks heat. "Nah, it was just… that doesn't mean anything."

"You're gonna live with him? Already?"

"No.." Aaron scoffed. 

Adam rolled his eyes. "Here, we go again. You two are going to be married by the end of the year. I should get a pool going, I'll rake it in."

"Shut up…" Aaron mumbled and looked down. "Marriage is the last thing on either of our heads, we just started dating…"

"Yeah, after been a solid couple for half a year…" Adam laughed. 

Aaron just rolled his eyes. 

"Dingle?" their boss popped in. "I need you to run an errand."

He nodded.

"Just go to Wickes and grab a few things, the list is here, put it on our expense account." 

Twenty minutes later, Aaron walked into the store, his eyes on the list, and bumped into someone. He looked up and froze, his insides going cold — it was the man who looked like Gordon. He swallowed, made a lousy apology, and walked away and tried to push away the crawling feeling rushing up his spine. 

He ducked down the first aisle he saw and leaned against the shelving and tried to breathe. To slow his sudden heartrate. He'd avoided seeing the man for months now, he thought, since he got the car — but the world had to be fucking small. He reminded himself it wasn't Gordon. He didn't know where Gordon was — and that was good. He was out of his life, he'd excised him completely a long time ago…

But he felt dirty and wrong and like he needed to punch someone or something. He shook his hands a bit and tried to shove back inside, put it all away because it wasn't Gordon.

It wasn't him. 

But he was on edge for the rest of the day. 

~~~

It was a weird feeling to feel like he was running late to get home. Robert wondered if he'd ever get used to wanting to get out of work. It wasn't like it wasn't still challenging him, and he wasn't working his arse off to impress the bosses and make up for losing the company Lawrence White. If he anything he was planning to show them they didn't need Lawrence White — there were a lot of rich people in the world. Robert would find someone else and bring them in, it was only a matter of time. He had his hooks into a few already.

But he wanted to get home.

To Aaron.

Not that it was a home, it was his flat, yeah, Aaron would likely be there but… it wasn't like they were living together. But he liked knowing when he opened the door the chances were he'd see Aaron. Probably not naked like the day before — but beautiful and all his nonetheless. 

He felt a bit giddy and impatient. 

So he took the stairs. 

It was faster. 

He huffed a bit the top, though, and thought he should really use his gym membership and pulled out his keys and walked into an empty flat. He frowned and walked in, hoping maybe Aaron was in the bedroom. But it was all too quiet…

Robert frowned, but his eyes fell on his stove. He grinned. He could make them a good meal and surprise Aaron with it. He dropped his briefcase and laptop on the couch, took a quick shower, and then opened the refrigerator to see what he had — he had chicken, so chicken and vegetables it was…

He grinned, already seeing Aaron's face when he presented roasted carrots for him to eat.

The door opened as he was seasoning the carrots before putting them in the oven, along with the chicken. He turned toward Aaron and his widened at the sight of him. He had this look on his face that felt familiar almost, but Robert also felt like it was new… 

Aaron was right in front of his face by the time he processed it all, then he was being shoved against the refrigerator door. "How long til the foods done?"

"Well, I need to put…"

"Know what don't care," Aaron cut him off and kissed him. Hard and bruising, his hand reaching into Robert's sweats and wrapping around his cock. Robert made a muffled sound of shock into Aaron's mouth, and his body instantly responded to him, but his brain wasn't with it… 

"Aaron…" he grabbed Aaron's wrist with one hand and put a hand on his chest. "What…"

"Come on," Aaron muttered and pushed in again. 

"Aaron…" Robert shoved him back and stared at him, and he looked edgy, almost panicked, and his heart thumped. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just want ya…"

"No," Robert shook his head. "This isn't…"

"Never complained before…"

Moments similar to this rushed back to Robert's memory, only he knew Aaron better now — he knew him. They weren't strangers, they weren't pretending to just be fuck buddies…

"Wasn't your boyfriend then," he countered. "And something is wrong."

Aaron blinked at him, and then his expression shuddered. He shut down, and he turned around and walked out of the flat. Robert blinked. It was all so fast, then he was after him, in the hall just time for the door of Aaron's flat to close. He banged on it.

"Aaron, Aaron…" he sighed. "Aaron."


	15. Chapter 15

"Aaron," Robert shouted and pounded on the door again. He sighed his hand hurt at this point, and it was getting him nowhere. He stood there in front of the door and stared at it. He tried to knob, again, not that he'd heard the lock. There was nothing by silence from the other side. He sighed and pulled out his cell and dialed Aaron's number. 

He heard it ringing through the door, and then it went voicemail at his ear. He groaned and stared at the door and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He was running out of options. He cursed himself for never asking for a key and wondering why he hadn't…

The answer was easy. Adam. 

Adam was also his only hope right now.

It grated, but he clenched his jaw and pulled up Adam's number. It took a bit to open it up and hit send. He gave the door a hard knock and yelled for Aaron one more time. But was greeted with worrying silence. It was too much, and he felt out of his depth. He was missing something, and maybe Adam would know… 

He cursed under his breath and called him. It rang a few times, and he positive if Adam saw the call he'd hit ignore — it's what he'd do if Adam called him. Adam answering made him jolt with surprise. 

"Sugden?" 

"Get home," he ordered.

"Excuse me?"

"I need you to get here now."

"I don't think so, I'm chatting up this bird…"

"I don't give a shit, get over here." 

"Look, I don't take orders from…"

"Something's wrong with Aaron."

"What… What?"

"Look, I don't know, but he's locked himself in yours, and I need ya to open the door."

"Or maybe he's come to his senses and just wants nowt to do with ya?" 

Robert rolled his eyes. "Adam, I'm serious."

Adam scoffed. "He was fine when I last saw him….though…."

"Though? Though what?" Robert jumped on the hesitation. 

"He was just quiet is all, hardly shocking news…" Adam said, but his tone shifted to something more serious. "He's probably just in one of his moods, they happen. It's just best to let it blow over."

"Blow over?" Robert shook his head. "Are you mad? No, I'm not gonna wait for it to blow over, something is wrong." 

"He's fine, he's home…"

"Will, you just come and unlock the bloody door?" 

"Wait…you don't have a key?"

"Why would I need a key?" Robert heard himself mutter. 

"Oh right, you guys are living in your flat…." Adam sounded annoyed. "I'm gonna call him." 

"No, he's not gonna… Adam?" Robert sighed when he realized Adam hung up on him, and a second later, he heard Aaron's phone again through the door. He leaned closer, ear toward it, and hoped he'd answer. Maybe he could hear something that would help. But everything went quiet, and Robert assumed Aaron sent him to voicemail. 

Robert's phone rang, and he nearly dropped. "Barton?"

"Alright… give me twenty," Adam muttered and hung up again. 

Robert groaned as he realized he was being rescued by Adam Barton. He knocked on the door again and waited for a beat. But got nothing but the silence he was expecting. "I'm not going anywhere, Aaron," he snapped through the door. Then he turned around, all set to sit down and wait for Adam only he saw the door to his flat. Wide-open and smoke coming out of his oven. "Shit — except to stop the chicken from burning down the building…" he shouted at the door before dashing into his apartment. 

He turned off the oven, grabbed his oven mitts, and pulled out the very over roasted chicken and dumped it in the sink. He ran some water over it and sighed. He glanced at the door, through it, into an empty hallway. 

Not even the shot of fire was going to drag Aaron out… He made sure everything was off, made sure his door was unlocked, shut it, and sat down, his back toward it, and facing Aaron. 

"I'm back to waiting," he shouted and hoped Aaron cared. 

Time ticked. 

Slow.

By.

He felt like he aged a year and yanked out his phone, ready to text Adam to get his arse in gear and back home when the elevator dinged. And Robert, never in his life been so happy to see someone he didn't like. He jumped to his feet and started waving Adam at the door. "Go then," he snapped. 

"Eesh. Ever think of being a doctor with your charming personality," Adam muttered as he turned the lock. 

"Want to be my first patient?" Robert snapped then pushed toward him into the room, just in time to see Aaron's bedroom door shut closed. 

"He doesn't wanna see ya," Adam said.

"Shut up." Robert walked to the door and knocked. "Aaron? Aaron, let me will ya?"

Nothing. 

Adam shrugged and knocked. "Aaron, want me to make him leave?"

Nothing.

Robert widened his eyes at Adam and nodded. "See."

Adam sighed. "Are you having an anxiety attack, mate?" 

Robert's eyes went wider. "What? He has those?" he asked.

"Yeah," Adam said like it was nothing. "Aaron, mate, are ya?"

Robert frowned and tried the knob. "Aaron? Let me okay, let me just see ya for a second, alright?"

"If he's having one, it's really best to let him be," Adam said. 

"Why does he have them?"

Adam shrugged. "Don't know, just does."

"That's…" not an acceptable answer, Robert thought. "Aaron, I'll leave ya alone, but just let me see ya?" 

"That's not gonna work, I'm telling ya…" Adam stopped short as the locked clicked. 

"You were saying," Robert said with a smug smile. He lost it the second he focused on the door, though, and walked into Aaron's room. He shut the door and locked it again behind him. 

He felt awkward suddenly and out of his depth. Aaron looked tiny, perched on the foot of his bed, just sitting there and staring down, but obviously not seeing anything. Robert braced himself and walked over and sat down, carefully and not too close. Something was telling him not to get too close. He tried to figure out what to say, now that he was in the room with him again. 

"Sorry…" Aaron muttered.

"What? Why?" Robert stared at him. 

"About… in the kitchen."

"Aaron, you don't… just tell me what's wrong?"

"Can't…" he mumbled. 

"You can't?"

"No," he shook his head. 

"Aaron," Robert sighed. "Can I touch ya?"

"How…" Aaron let out a long shuddery breathe. "Why are you asking that?"

"Don't know, seemed right…" Robert shook his head. "I'm just reaching here."

"I pounced on ya like that and…"

"It's fine, alright, any other time feel free, it's just you're off."

"I know," Aaron mumbled. 

"You won't tell me?"

Aaron's hand reached out and found his, Robert gripped him tight and was gripped tightly back. Aaron moved closer to him and looked at him, finally. His eyes were shining with tears. "I can't told ya. I just can't…"

"Why?"

"Might ruin us."

Robert scoffed. "Impossible."

"You don't know, and don't make me, Robert."

Robert swallowed. "Alright." 

"Really?"

"No," Robert shook his head. "But, it's what you're giving me to work with."

"I'll be alright… Adam's right, it blows over."

"Is this an anxiety attack?"

"Not quite, just…close enough."

Robert nodded and yanked on Aaron's hand until Aaron leaned into him further, putting his weight onto Robert. He moved his arm around his shoulder then and gave him his other hand to cling too. Aaron pushed himself closer and closer. 

"I ruined dinner."

"It was just chicken."

Aaron snuggled into him. "Still was our dinner."

"I'll cook other ones."

"Promise."

"Of course."

"I'm sorry…" Aaron whispered again. 

Robert hugged him tighter. 

~~~

He woke up with a jolt and tried to sit up, but he was too tangled up in Robert. They were half on and off Aaron's bed, a rough quilt and a few discarded hoodies underneath them. He was curled up, mostly on Robert's chest, his legs hugging Robert's thigh. But it was Robert's arm tightly wrapped around his waist that got him and made something settle in his chest, and he felt like he was breathing. 

He took a few deeper breaths and burrowed his head down, his ear against Robert's chest, and he felt the thump of his heart more than he heard it. He was there and holding him. Real and solid. 

And he hadn't run a mile, and he'd been amazing, and it felt too good to be true, really. Like Robert couldn't be that perfect and right, all the time, he swallowed over a lump in his throat. And wondered how Robert hadn't pushed it…

He'd wanted to push it, Aaron felt it. 

He sniffled, and the arm around him tightened, and Robert shifted a bit underneath him. "You alright?" his voice was hoarse with sleep, and maybe Aaron thought guiltily shouting through the door. 

"Am now," he mumbled. "Thank you."

"I just… I love ya," Robert whispered and kissed his head. 

"Now…" Aaron mumbled.

"Always," Robert argued. "I… want to know what happened, Aaron. But if you're not ready to trust me, or whatever, I'll wait."

Aaron nodded. "It's not really about trust."

"Then what?"

"Might…. Change how you see me."

Robert huffed out a breath. "Doubt it."

Aaron wished he felt the same faith. "I love ya, too, I do..."

"I know," Robert said smugly.

Aaron felt himself smile. 

"Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"We go get in our bed? This bed is killing my back."

"Yeah, alright, old man," Aaron laughed.

They sat up together and looked at each other. Robert's hand landed on Aaron's cheek, and they just stared at each other. "Just sleep," Robert whispered. "You look awful."

"Thanks," Aaron chuckled, but he knew he must. 

"Come on," Robert grabbed his hand again and pulled him to his feet. 

Aaron couldn't help but feel like they were going home — no matter what he'd told Adam.


	16. Chapter 16

His nose wiggled as Leyla's perfume wafted up his nostrils, he looked up from his computer and stared at her. She was perched on his desk, shaking her head at him, and he frowned. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied and tried to go back to work, only to realize he hadn't done one bloody thing. The spreadsheet was empty, and he swore under his breath, leaned back in his chair. He felt Leyla's on his him and looked up at her, ready to bark at her to leave again when he sneezed. 

On her. 

"Ew…" she hopped off.

"Don't wear the whole bottle of that bloody perfume then," he grumbled. 

"Going to tell me what's made you so unproductive? It's quite fascinating, really, but you also look like someone has kicked your puppy. So, I'm worried."

His eyes rolled. 

"Talk to me, Sugden."

"It's nothing, Harding."

"Pfft." She sat back down on his desk. 

"I just didn't get a lot of sleep."

"Obviously not because you and your man were rolling under the sheets," she grinned. 

"Is that all you ever think about?"

"Your sex life, please."

"I just meant sex in general… now I'm really worried."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "What's wrong?"

He shrugged and shook his head. 

"FIrst fight?"

"No…no… it was…"

"What?"

"None of your business. No, really, it's Aaron's business, and it's…." He clenched his jaw. 

"It's got you staring into space, must be big."

"I don't know if it is or isn't…" he muttered. 

"Give me a bit more to go on."

"No," Robert shook his head. "It's Aaron's…it's private Leyla, not everything is up for gossip."

Leyla shrugged. "But… and not to be a nice person or anything, but you aren't working, you are worried, that that screams something big to me. It's not like you… you must really care about Aaron."

He looked away from her and fiddled with a pen that was on his desk and nodded. He was preoccupied. He was going over last night over and over again — and remembering other times, Aaron just showed up and roughly needed to have his way with him. It'd happened more than once, he'd seen the crazy in his eyes, and he'd even pushed him away once but let Aaron talk him into it…

It'd been just sex then…

Well, It hadn't, but denial was their thing. 

He frowned because now that he clocked it, he couldn't unclock it, and his boyfriend was using sex to feel in control. It was obvious, and he wasn't at all sure what to do with that….

Or how not to push for a why.

How could he not? 

But the fact Aaron had been gone when he woke up told Robert that he wanted to avoid the subject. Robert wasn't sure he could go along with that — after all, they weren't pretending to just be fuck buddies any longer. He loved Aaron, he was under Robert's skin, and he couldn't picture a life without Aaron in it… 

It was impossible. 

And all he could see was that raw wild look that'd been in Aaron's eyes — his face contorted into something painful, his movements jerky and harder than usual. Aaron had been a taut wire, ready to cut, needing to be in control, and he'd wanted to use sex to ride it all out. It'd felt a bit dangerous, and Robert felt guilt churn in his gut for ever going along with it. 

"Fuck," he muttered. 

"Talk to him," Leyla said. 

He stared at her and blinked. He'd forgotten she was there, he'd forgotten where he was, and he rolled his eyes at himself. Then he looked at the time, and it wasn't even afternoon. 

But he couldn't do this. 

He stood up. "Cover for me, will ya?" he asked. 

Her eyes widened. "You're going to leave?"

"Yeah, just lie about where I meant. Say it's for a client or whatever if anyone notices."

She nodded. 

He started grabbing his things. 

"Wow, you are serious about this one…" she whistled as she got up and went back to her own desk. 

He nodded, but it was more to himself. All he knew was Aaron was everything, and he couldn't just…

Avoid whatever this was. 

Even if Aaron wanted too. 

Suddenly he was terrified, but he already figured out he was over his head with Aaron. He already knew that how he felt was bigger and deeper than anything he'd felt any other person. Aaron was it for him. No one was going to come close to the level of emotion he created inside of Robert. 

It was like a storm. 

And they were going to ride it out together. 

Even if meant they might have their first fight. 

~~~

The wind was biting, but Aaron just yanked his hoodie sleeves over his hands, then zipped up his jacket. His work overalls were another layer of warmth, not that they were really causing any — it was too cold. It was January, and he'd managed to survive another whole year…

He'd been counting birthdays for a long time. 

Surprised by each one. 

This past birthday had been the best he ever had. 

He looked at the purple fabric covering his hand. It was horrible as a glove, but yet it made something warm, swallow him up, and settled into his chest. He closed his eyes and thought about Robert….

He should have run in the opposite direction last night. But instead, he'd stayed, he'd shouted, he pounded on the door for hours. He'd called Adam, and then he'd… asked if it was okay to touch him. And every time Robert respected a boundary, Aaron knew he fell harder for him. 

He felt ready to crawl out of his own skin, he felt dirty and vulnerable and more afraid of his feelings for Robert than he ever been — and he'd managed to just go and fall more in love with him. It made the fear in gut churn. It made him feel sick. It made him on the edge of an anxiety spike…

It was why he was sitting in the cold, as a way to fend off the heat of anxiety. That came with the fear and the sick and gross feeling that made him wish he could climb out of his body to get away from the memories. 

He felt bile at the back of his throat. 

He always did when Gordon rose to the surface. 

Gordon could claw his way up and back Aaron's thoughts, almost every single one of so easily. Sometimes it was a smell, or a song, or a phrase — other times it was faces, that weren't Gordon's but they were close enough, sometimes it was nothing, and he was just there. 

Aaron wiped at his eyes and felt tears on his cheeks. 

Robert was going to ask again what it was, why he got anxious, why he'd wanted to fuck him against the counter, and try to force the pain to pleasure… he sniffled and didn't know what he was going to do. 

He couldn't tell him.

He could never say it. 

Ever. 

He would never ever say it. 

The thought made everything inside of him tense and hurt more, the fear went louder, and he gasped out for air, and it felt like his heart was pounding in his throat. He wasn't cold anymore, anxiety made him feel like he was fire…

To hot. 

He'd get burned. 

He'd never tell. 

Not even Robert. 

~~~

Robert realized he'd never really worried about a person before, not like this, he felt antsy with it. He felt confused by it. Aaron hadn't been at the garage, and Adam been nice to him, his own worry evident as he explained Aaron just walked right out, mid oil change, and he hadn't been able to follow.

And Robert walked right out of the garage on hearing and looked left and right and straight ahead. He knew Aaron, and he knew if he'd walked off to be alone, no one would be able to find him. He hadn't shot of even picking the right direction. 

So he went home because the thought of going back to work, felt wrong, maybe Aaron would go to the flat sooner rather than later — he knew Aaron wanted to avoid the subject, but he was fairly certain Aaron wouldn't want to avoid him.

Robert hoped. 

He leaned against the back wall of the elevator and felt relieved it was a slow crawl up the three floors. He was trying to figure out what he should do while he waited and hoped for Aaron to show up…

So they could what?"

Fight?"

He sighed because he didn't want to fight, he just wanted to take care of him. That's all he wanted. To take care of him. He shook his head and decided he'd open a bottle of wine. Maybe it' help mellow him out a bit, calm the restlessness he felt burning under his skin. Nodding to himself, he stepped out of the elevator and frowned when he saw Chas pacing the hallway between their two flats. 

She looked at him and gave him an odd smile. 

"Chas?"

"I called the garage, and Adam said he wasn't there, but there is no one home… I knocked on both doors."

"I don't know where he is," he said. 

She sighed. 

"Uh, come in?" he offered and unlocked his door, her obvious nerves doing nothing to help with his own. "Why are you here?"

"There's been… some news."

He walked over to his wine rack. "Wine?"

"Please," she said, sounding relieved by it. 

"What news?"

"I rather wait to tell Aaron."

Robert sighed. "Chas, it's really not a good time…"

"What does that mean?" her eyes narrowed at him. "What have you done?"

Robert rolled his eyes. "Never mind, all right. I don't know when he'll show up."

"Well, we'll both just have to wait then."

Robert inwardly groaned and poured them both a generous glass of wine. He handed Chas hers and sat down on his couch, and found the remote control. He'd find something mindless to watch, to waste time with because the last thing he was going to do was have small talk with Chas Dingle. 

Chas sighed, and her phone rang. "I was hoping it'd be him…" she mumbled, and Robert hoped that meant she wasn't going to answer it. But no such luck. "Paddy….no, no, I haven't yet. He's not here. He's not a work…. No, no, I don't think he knows, how could he? The lawyer had to track me down." 

Curiosity spiked up Robert's spine, making him sit up straighter, and he stared at Chas. She looked at him and at her phone and shook his head. "Look, Sugden's getting a look on him… yeah, I'm waiting with him for Aaron. How am I supposed to know? I'll call you once I tell him, he loved him so much… yeah, I don't know how I'll do it."

"Shit…" Robert muttered and realized Chas had bad news of some kind, and it really couldn't come at a worse time, he thought. Not when Aaron was hiding something and edgy about it. "Tell me."

"Excuse me?"

"Chas, just tell me okay, because… it's not a great time for bad news."

"Why is that? Did you two have a fight?"

"No…" not yet, he thought. "It just, he's been a bit moody…" he hedged. 

She frowned. "It is bad news, I honestly don't know how to tell him… I think they had a falling out, but they were so close when he was little."

"Chas?"

"His father's dead…" 

Robert felt punched in the gut, memories his own father and their strained relationship rearing up and attacking him out of nowhere, but he shoved it down this was about Aaron. And he never said anything good about his own father, if he'd said anything at all… "Dead?"

"It's worse than that…" she sighed. 

"What is worse than dead?"

"He killed himself."

"Who killed himself?" Aaron's voice startled them both from the door. 

Chas rose to her feet. "Oh, sweetheart… I didn't."

"Who killed themselves?" Aaron asked again. 

"It was your father, Aaron, I"m…"

Aaron laughed. 

"Aaron?" Chas looked at him, bewildered. 

Robert hurried to his feet and closer to him. 

Aaron met his eyes, and they looked glossy, like he'd been crying and had that weird wildness was in them again, but he was laughing. It wasn't a happy sound, though, it was a different emotion. One Robert knew he'd never felt in his life, and that was all he knew. 

Aaron laughed walked past both of them. 

"Aaron," Robert called out after him.

"I need a shower. Alone." 

Robert nodded because he didn't know what else to do. 

Aaron's face softened for a second as their eyes met. 

"I'm here," Robert whispered. 

"I know," Aaron said before disappearing into Robert's room. 

"Aaron," Chas yelled shrilly. 

But he didn't answer her. 

"What the hell?" she shrieked at Robert.

He just shrugged.


	17. Chapter 17

Robert locked his door the second it clicked shut behind Chas. He wasn't at all sure how he'd talked her into going back to Emmerdale without talking with Aaron. He'd just talked until she gave in to what he wanted, and he was willing to chalk it up to luck, or maybe she was just feeling as lost as to what do as he was…

He'd been worried about Aaron as it was. Now he felt… like he was drowning in it. He walked into the bedroom and stared at the closed bathroom door, he could hear the water running. A piece of him wanted to just walk in and join Aaron, but all his instincts were screaming that was a bad idea. He sat down on the bed and tried to think. 

But his mind remained blank, uncertainty swirling around, and he frowned. He tried to remember what Aaron had ever said about his father, and all that came to mind was one thing about him being better off without him. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about his own father, about all the mixed feelings that came with it. He hated his father, and he wanted his father to love him — the contraction forever hurting his heart. 

Was it like that for Aaron? 

Then there was the fact, Aaron, already been acting strange and weird. 

Was it connected?

All Robert knew was one sentence about Aaron's father told him nothing about their relationship, and he wasn't sure he'd find more anytime soon. Add in Aaron's odd reaction to the news of his death, with Aaron's recent anxiety…

Robert felt out of control. He didn't know how to fix it. Or what to do. 

He stared at the door. Both needing Aaron to come out and dreading it. But he felt restless and he started to jiggle his leg but it wasn't enough. He felt like he needed to do something. Anything, really, and he wasn't going to be talking to Aaron soon…

Something told him Aaron was going to stand under the spray of hot water for a while yet. 

He got up and ended up in the kitchen. A glance in his fridge showed him he had the ingredients for omelets, so he focused on the tasks of cooking everything and making the omelet's perfect. He was just sliding them onto a plate when Aaron appeared. 

"She's gone?"

"Yeah." 

Aaron looked at the plate. "What's that?"

"Bacon and mushroom omelets."

"Mushroom?" Aaron screwed up his nose.

"Won't…" he stopped himself short of saying _kill ya._

"I'll try it," Aaron shrugged and sat down.

Robert grabbed two beer bottles and gave Aaron his omelet and sat down at the table. He watched Aaron take a few bites and a drag of his beer. A million words at the tip of his tongue, but unsure where or how to start.

"You're home early," Aaron said. 

"I stopped by the garage…"

Aaron sighed. 

"I'm worried," Robert accused. 

Aaron's cheeks when red, and he busied himself with his omelet again. 

"And now… I'm more worried?" he hated how that sounded like a question. 

Aaron swallowed hard and picked up his beer. 

"Aaron?"

"I can't…" Aaron shook his head. 

"Are you alright…ish? About your dad, that's…"

"He deserved to die," Aaron said.

Robert's eye widened. 

"Don't worry about it..." Aaron muttered.

"I worry about you," Robert said. 

Aaron looked at him then, and Robert held his gaze. 

Aaron's expression softened. "I'll be fine."

"Will ya?"

"Yeah?"

"Aaron, you were already off and now…"

Aaron sighed. "I really can't talk about it."

"Can't or…"

"Can't…" Aaron bit out, and he was his feet and looked ready to run, but he stayed in place. 

Robert rose up too and grabbed his hand. "I won't push, alright, but… don't expect me not to wonder and worry."

Aaron looked down at the floor. 

Robert tightened his hold on his hand, the contact somehow grounding him a bit more. Aaron was letting him touch him, he wasn't running even though he still looked ready to bolt. Robert tugged on his hand a bit, and Aaron moved closer. Robert stroked his hand with his thumb and stepped closer. "You can trust me."

"I do…" Aaron mumbled. 

"I'm worried."

"I'll be fine…" he said again.

"Not sure I believe that," Robert admitted. 

Aaron snorted and looked up at him. "Let me lie?"

"Will that help?"

"Yeah."

"Aaron, I get having complicated feelings about…"

"I can't talk about him."

"Alright…" Robert sighed. 

"I was just anxious, and this is just… weird, innit?"

"Is it?"

"I just… it's not a bad thing to me that he's gone."

Robert frowned. 

Aaron shuffled closer and put his head against Robert's chest. "It is complicated, but it's not bad, it's just not…" but he heaved out a hard sigh, almost a sob. 

Robert wrapped his arms around him. 

Aaron snuggled into him. 

"Tell me what you need?" Robert breathed out because it was all he had left. 

"This. You. Don't push, please?"

Robert tightened the hug. "This is easy enough. Really? And alright…" 

"Yeah, really, you're… you. It's a lot," Aaron said into his chest. 

Robert hoped it could be enough. 

~~~

_ He was trapped. Pressed down and hurting. Couldn't move. Couldn't stop it. Could only cry out. Knowing it'd be ignored._

"NO…" his own voice woke him up, he was cold and clammy. He was sweating and flailing shoving at the body that'd been pressed against him. Until his eyes met blue-green, and he knew that meant he was safe. 

But he couldn't catch his breath. 

"Aaron?" 

His chest heaved, and he swallowed air and wondered why it didn't seem to be reaching his lungs. He grabbed at Robert, though, grabbed his shoulders, and caught his eyes. Stared into them and told himself over and over, he was safe here, there, with him. 

"Aaron?" Robert's voice was softer, and he kept their eyes locked, his own hands slowly reaching out and finding Aaron's face. 

Aaron's eyes slid closed Robert's palms on his cheeks. 

"Breathe," Robert whispered. 

Finally, he could. 

"Nightmare?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Do you want to…"

"No."

"Alright…" Robert said, and it was sincere, but Aaron heard the uncertainty in it, and guilt churned a bit in his gut. He was asking for too much, wasn't he? He was asking Robert to just put up with his mess…

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. 

"What? Why?"

"I don't…" he sighed. 

"Aaron, I promised alright. I won't push, but…"

Aaron bit his lip. 

"You can tell me… whatever it is that makes you anxious, or whatever you're feeling about your…"

"Don't…" he couldn't hear Gordon being called his father, he just couldn't. "He was never a dad, don't…"

"That bad?" Robert's thumbs stroked his cheek.

Aaron nodded and felt a bit relieved at saying something, it wasn't nothing really, but maybe it was enough for now. Enough for Robert to know why he shouldn't push? 

"Are…" Robert sighed. 

"What?"

"Just… are the two things making me worried about ya, are they connected?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Did you know…before your mum?"

Aaron shook his head. 

Robert nodded. 

"I just…" Aaron sighed. "I won't forget he existed again."

Robert's brow furrowed, but he nodded. "Alright….I'm going to get you some water."

Aaron grabbed onto him to stop him from leaving.

"I'll be right back."

He blushed as he let Robert slip away. He felt too needy, too emotional, to wrecked. A stranger with his father's face sent him plummeting, and then he found about Gordon. That he was dead — he almost didn't believe it, that he could so lucky the man wasn't walking the earth any longer. He wanted to believe it, needed to believe it. He could breathe easier knowing he wasn't out there…  
Lurking.

He'd killed himself. 

Was it guilt? Aaron shook his head. He felt sick at that thought — guilt wasn't enough, not for what…

He'd done. 

He deserved to be dead. 

It meant it could be over, and wasn't that a good thing? Why didn't it feel that easy? Maybe because it wasn't over yet… His mum would want to talk about it, there was probably a funeral. Liv would need to be told…

Or did she?

He wasn't sure. 

She never knew him. 

Thankfully. 

"Here," Robert handed him a glass of water.

He drank and realized he felt parched. 

Robert's hand was on his shoulder. "Better?"

"I don't know what to tell Liv."

"Your sister?"  
"She never knew him… Sandra left, changed their last names…"

Robert's expression darkened. "That bad?"

Aaron nodded.

"Maybe you don't tell her then… why make her miss someone she doesn't know?"

Aaron nodded and finished off the glass of water. 

Robert settled down on the bed and spread his arm out. "Come here."

Aaron moved, snuggled into Robert, head on his chest, the thump of his heart in his ear, and felt his arm wrap around him. Strong and safe… he never felt trapped with him, near him. He breathed, and it felt easy, he burrowed himself into him even closer and inhaled his scent. Robert kissed his forehead. 

"Think you can sleep?"

"Yeah…" Aaron whispered and smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

He woke up again, his face smashed against the back of Robert's neck. Somehow they'd shifted to him holding onto Robert while they slept instead of the other way around. He was plastered against him, his arms around his middle, one of Robert's hands was holding onto his, and their legs were a bit tangled. Robert's leg twitched a bit, trying to kick as was his habit, but it was too trapped to really do it, and he snuffled a bit n his sleep, and his grip on Aaron's hand tightened. 

Aaron closed his eyes, tightened his hold and breathed in the scent of Robert's skin, and hoped he could sink back into sleep. But he was awake, and his mind was spinning. Maybe it was starting to really hit him…

Gordon was dead. 

It felt unbelievable.

It felt too good to be true.

Guilt crashed into him, and he wondered if he was awful. For wishing someone dead, for being happy they were dead… Because he was and maybe he wasn't. He didn't want it to be complicated, he didn't want to give Gordon any respect…

The man lost all his rights the moment he…

Aaron swallowed a sob and hated it, hated that he was grieving something… not Gordon, maybe what he was supposed to be. He shouldn't have relief in his bones at the loss of a parent. Maybe, maybe he could finally find a way to let what happened, to leave all that pain behind him now…

Maybe he could stop being haunted by it. 

Fresh tears fell, and he wiped at his nose and started to move out of the bed, not wanting to wake up Robert again. But he barely made a move when he heard Robert. 

"Going to touch you…"

Then strong arms were dragging him against Robert, his back to his chest, and he felt Robert's chin on his shoulder. "Hey?"

"Hey," he said. 

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'm not sad," he muttered. 

"What is it then?"

"Relief." 

"I can get that," Robert whispered. 

Aaron twisted around in his arms so he could look at him, and he knocked their foreheads together and stared at his freckled nose, then into his eyes. "Do you?"

"Yeah…" he sighed. "There are things I don't miss, can't miss… cause it hurt."

Aaron nodded. 

"Then I feel guilty and wonder what if…" Robert sighed. 

"I don't wonder what if…" Aaron muttered. 

"Will, you ever tell me?" Robert asked. 

Terror filled him, and he shook his head. "I can't…" and even saying that much felt hard. "I just can't, Robert."

"Not gonna make ya… just, I love ya, Aaron. You can tell me anything."

"You should be running."

"Never."

Aaron stared into his eyes and knew it was true, he believed him, he saw the love, and that was almost more terrifying than the prospect of ever saying out loud what had happened… 

But it was safer too. 

"Kiss me," Aaron said. 

Robert smiled and ran his hand down Aaron's back. "You're sure?"

"Always."

Robert brushed his mouth against his, and Aaron felt impatient at the softness of it and sighed a bit as he grabbed his face and deepened it. Robert pulled back and met his eyes, his expression searching. 

"It's not that…" Aaron whispered. 

"Are you sure?"

"That was about control…" he muttered. "I didn't… I don't…" 

"Hey, you know I don't mind some control, just…"

Aaron bit his lip and ducked his head down onto Robert's shoulder. 

"Next time you feel like that, talk to me?"

Aaron looked up. "You should be running."

"Stop saying that…" Robert sighed. "I want you, trust me, I just don't want it to be about….something else, something that's hurting ya."

Aaron nodded. "It isn't. Ever." 

"No?"

"Not with you," Aaron whispered. 

"But, you were using it to…"

Aaron felt hot, knew his cheeks must be red, and he bit his lip a bit, and tried to find the words. "I have, I do use sex sometimes too… clear my head. Usually, it's just empty one night stands… You know, you know…" 

"I know…" Robert bent down and kissed him. 

Aaron sighed and grabbed onto him, and they sank into it, one long kiss, leading to another and Robert falling onto his back and Aaron climbing over him. Aaron sighed as Robert's mouth pressed against his throat, slight scrap of facial hair he couldn't even see when he looked at him, against his skin. He sighed and leaned away from him, leaned up to pull the shirt he was wearing off.   
Robert watched him, dilated eyes and a soft expression. 

Aaron tugged at Robert's shirt when he was finished. 

Robert rose up and let him take it off of him. 

"Can I?" Aaron asked. 

"Be in charge?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Always are, even when I am…"

Aaron laughed and kissed him. 

~~~

"Rob…" Aaron's voice was sin whispered right in his ear. He groaned as he sank deeper into him. How he'd ended up on top, he wasn't even sure, but it didn't matter. He pressed his mouth against Aaron's jaw, then his mouth as Aaron wrapped his legs around him and pushed him in deeper with the movement. "Fuck…" 

"God, your voice…" Robert whined. 

"I need ya…" Aaron begged. 

"Right here…" Robert bit his lower lip. 

Aaron kissed him and rocked his hips. 

Robert groaned and started to thrust. Slow. 

"Shit…" Aaron cursed and sighed. 

"Good?" Robert asked.

Aaron nodded, and Robert fell into his eyes. He sighed as he moved, their eyes locked and knew, knew this was why they were different, why Aaron was his…

You couldn't be with someone eyes locked like this without them being everything. "God, I love you."

"Shut up," Aaron blushed as he rocked his hips. "More."

"Not yet…" Robert said and kissed him, tongue matching his slow thrusts. 

Aaron moaned into his mouth, and the kiss took over, the broke apart breathless, and Aaron stared at him dazed and smiled. Robert stared at it in amazement, like it wasn't possible someone looked at him like that… 

"You, just you, only you…" Aaron breathed. 

"Same…" he said back as he started to really thrust into him.

"Robert…" he sounded sinful in Robert's ear, and he groaned. He felt swallowed up by it all. Being inside Aaron with Aaron's strong arms and legs around him. And he felt awe at the trust he saw in Aaron's face and in his eyes and in his body… 

"Shit…" he whispered before he came. 

~~~

The third time Aaron woke up, he was listening to a Taylor Swift song, and he groaned and slammed his hand on the alarm clock. "I'm changing the station."

Robert kissed the back of his neck and laughed. "I could call in."

"What?" 

"From work."

Aaron frowned and twisted around. "I'm fine."

Robert searched his eyes. 

"You don't need to…"

"Spend time with my boyfriend," Robert asked.

"What about your promotion, you left early yesterday."

"I told Leyla to say it was a family emergency."

"Really?" Aaron asked.

"Of course…" Robert said. "It's you."

"No," Aaron shook his head. "Work is important to ya."

"Yeah, but…"

"I walked out of work early too…" Aaron frowned. 

"Aaron, it's been a weird few days, and…"

Aaron shook his head and pressed a kiss to Robert's cheek. "I love ya… and I'm good."

"How can ya be?"

"You," Aaron whispered and stared at him. "You're… you just make it better."

"Didn't do much."

"That was all I needed," Aaron said. 

"Alright," Robert nodded, but he didn't move. "But…"

"But?"

"Lunch. Let's meet for lunch."

Aaron smiled. "Yeah, alright."

Robert grinned back at him. 

Aaron kissed him. 

"Did you hit snooze?"

"Thinks so."

"Good," Robert muttered as he deepened the kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

Aaron frowned at another text from his mother, to add to the string of them and the full voicemail box that was all her voice screeching at him — not that'd he'd listened to them, but he knew, knew that's what it would sound like to ears. Harsh and overbearing and protective — he scoffed at that. Protective. He felt a bit in his stomach and tried to push away why she calling. 

Gordon.

He was gone. It was over. For good now. Nail in a literal coffin. He could let it go — but his mum kept calling him. She would want to talk about it, him, them. It made him feel antsy and sick again, and he slammed the hood on the car in front of him before he was done working on it, planted his hands on the hood and bent his head down and closed his eyes.

He needed to breathe. 

He thought about Robert and the past few days. He thought about it'd felt easy to let him hold him, to push him down into the mattress and fuck him — right after the memories of Gordon were eating at him from the inside out… He usually needed the opposite, craved the opposite, all in desperate attempts to forget and numb the pain. To tell himself Gordon wouldn't ruin his life, not on that level, ever… but being vulnerable.

All he'd been was vulnerable with Robert, and it'd been…

Hard, scary, no terrifying, but it'd been amazing too. Safe. Easy. And he was able to forget the fear, the memory, the nightmare and let Robert take control — just a little, and he'd never felt more loved. 

By someone who seemed smart enough to run a mile, seeing what a mess Aaron was…but he wouldn't run, he was staying. Aaron believed him, and it was a lot of emotion to added into everything else filling his head. 

His phone rang again, and he sighed. 

"She's gonna keep calling?" Adam's voice was behind him. 

"Let her."

"Your dad died, Aaron, don't you…"

"Care?" Aaron scoffed. "No. It's not like with yours Ads, alright. He wasn't… he wasn't a good dad. Both me and Liv were better off without him."

"Still, though…family."

"Sometimes, people don't deserve to be called that…" Aaron muttered. 

"Tell her then," Adam said. "There are probably legal things too."

Aaron turned and looked at him then. "What?"

"A will? I mean, you said it was…you know a suicide, maybe he left a note."

"I don't care," Aaron snapped. 

"Might've left you some money…that'd be nice, right."

"Don't want it."

"Seriously?"

Aaron felt like he was slipping again, like any second, his heart was going to beat too fast, and his skin would go prickly with heat. He scrubbed his hands over his head and walked toward the garage door. 

"You can't leave again…"

"Just getting air…" he shouted and pulled out his phone. He opened up his contact for Robert, and for the first time since meeting him called him rather than texted. 

"Aaron?" his voice was soft in his ear but worried too, and Aaron hated that. "Aaron?" 

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Something wrong?"

"I just… just say my name, again, will ya?"

"Aaron…" a chuckled trailed after it. 

"Mum keeps calling."

"Oh… yeah, she would, right?"

"I don't think I can…" Aaron sighed. "I don't want to talk about him or anything to do with him."

"Probably things to deal with, though… funeral and a will…"

"If he left me anything, I don't want it."

"What if it's money?"

Aaron snorted. "I don't want anything from him. Don't want Liv too either…" he sighed. "Mum's gonna want to tell her."

"Look… I'll call your mum."

"What?"

"It's Saturday tomorrow, yeah? We'll go to Emmerdale, I'll be there, you can tell your mum you don't want Liv to know or care — I'll back whatever story you want to use, and we'll get it done with."

He smiled and shook his head. "You're too good at this."

"Doubtful," Robert snorted. "Just wanna help ya."

"You do," Aaron whispered. 

"You alright?"

"Am now…." He took a deep breath. "I've got get back into work."

"Alright, I'll text ya once I've sorted it with your mum."

"Yeah."

"I'll be home early, alright?"

"Alright."

~~~

"What was that voice?"

He jumped and turned around and saw Leyla standing behind him. "You know, I walked away from my desk because it was a personal call."

"And I followed because I'm a gossip hound."

Robert rolled his eyes. "It's still private, alright."

"So, what was that voice?"

"What voice."

"Aaron…" Leyla mimicked in a breathy whisper. "No, that wasn't it… but it was well soft and goofy in a really endearing way, and I didn't know you had an actual heart."

"Really, with all your poking into my love life, you figured I was heartless."

"Well, you are ruthless in business, and that's rather putting it mildly."

Robert rolled his eyes. "Like the two things are remotely comparable. Will you go away, I've got sort something."

"You've done zero work this week… fascinating." Leyla cocked her head and stared at him. "Are you really Robert Sugden?"

"GO."

Laughing, she turned around and walked away. 

He frowned. She was right, he'd been distracted all week, really, for some reason or the other. He wanted to go back to the freshness of being a new relationship. Back to knowing how he felt about Aaron and just wanting to make the most of their time. But now, it was different, they were…

The honeymoon, so to speak, was over. 

And now he had to call Chas Dingle. He didn't have her number, but finding the number for the Woolpack was easy enough, and he leaned against the wall and took a breath. This might take some talking, he still wasn't sure how he'd ever gotten her to leave in the first place. He could barely remember it, his focus had just been getting her out, so he could be there for Aaron. 

A lot like now. 

"Woolpack," a voice said, and he made a face like lemon the second he recognized it. "Woolpack…" the woman said again with irritation.

"Not really how you should answer the phone of a business establishment, Katie." 

"Who is this?"

"It's Robert, I need to talk to Chas."

"Why?"

"None of your business. Why are you answering the phones."

"I'm covering the bar as a favor — something I doubt you'd understand."

Robert rolled his eyes. "It's about Aaron, alright, put her on."

"She's in the back with a lawyer."

"Well, this is probably relevant to that, get her."

"It's better than talking to you…" Katie grumbled, and he heard the phone land on the bar. 

He sighed and waited.

"Is my son okay?"

"Hi, Chas," he said. 

"Is my son okay?"

"He's fine…" Ish, he added in his head. "Stop calling him."

"His father has killed himself, Robert, and the lawyer needs to speak to him about Gordon's wishes."

"Aaron doesn't care about Gordon's wishes," Robert said. 

"What?"

"He doesn't, and calling him every few minutes isn't going to help."

"How can he not care? He adored him, they were so close."

"Maybe once, he doesn't care… but we'll come down Saturday and deal with things and get it over with. Just wait until then."

"There is a funeral, and he's left Aaron a letter…"

"I don't care, neither does Aaron…but we'll cover that Saturday."

"Fine…. But we are discussing all this because I don't understand, you tell him that. Gordon was far from perfect, but he loved Aaron."

Robert frowned. 

"Robert?"

"Saturday… I got get back to work now," he muttered and hung up the phone. He shook his head. Talk about different pictures of the same man. What had happened? Chas was obviously clueless…

Robert felt curiosity and worry rise up. What the hell had happened between Aaron loving his father to Aaron being relieved he was dead…

How bad was it?

And would Aaron ever tell him?

Sighing, he pulled out his phone and sent Aaron a text that Saturday was sorted. 

~~~

"You're what?"

"Going to lunch," Robert said. 

"Since when?" 

"Stop micromanaging me," Robert snapped. "I have a boyfriend."

"Weren't you engaged or practically engaged to Chrissie White, you kept your usual crazy work hours."

"Why do you care?"

"Gossip hound." Leyla grinned at him, but then her expression softened. "It's nice…seeing this side of you."

He blinked at her.

"Robert Sugden good human being… thought it was in there." She smiled. "And I'm jealous, but don't worry about me, go live your loved up life while I slave away here."

He shook his head. 

"Go, you have limited time, you know."

"Whatever, leave my desk alone, Leyla."

She turned her back on him to answer her phone.

He sighed and took off, drove the five minutes to where he and Aaron decided to meet. He hurried in and saw he'd gotten there first and wondered why he was surprised. He found a table and ordered for them, knowing Aaron just want a burger and a pint. He jiggled his leg as he sat and looked at the time— he wasn't late, not really. 

He was just worried. 

Concerned. 

A lot.

What a weird feeling? Maybe Leyla was right, this wasn't his normal state of being. Thinking about someone other than himself, he would always make his sister a priority if she asked for something. But his sister was strong, independent, and she had Ellis. There wasn't that much worrying to do about her… 

Aaron, though, he couldn't go a second without thinking about him in some way, and he hated seeing him anxious, upset, he just hated it. He let out a breath when he walked into the restaurant, his hands buried in his hoodie's pockets, but his shoulders weren't slumped down, and he was grinning at Robert. 

"Sorry…" he mumbled. "Traffic was a pain."

"It's fine, I ordered — burgers. If you want to change it…"

"What'd I get, innit?" 

"I figured."

Robert knocked their feet together under the table. "You alright?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Stop worrying so much… I'm alright. I'll tell ya if I'm not."

"Promise?"

Aaron caught his gaze and nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright then…"

Aaron grinned and started talking about his day so far at the garage. 

Robert thought he could just listen to talk about anything as long as there was light behind his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> As promised more of the Inevitable verse...


End file.
